"Commander Yugar! Waht do you do?" - GM
"I think about my bracers!" - Rich
"There's a helluva bear out there; let's go!" - Captain Ves, about the bear that wandered into 8-Forward.
"We may need the holodecks. The elephants are restless." - Commander Roderick
"Speed check by radar, next 27 parsecs." - Lt. Bandaar, about the warp 5 speed limit.
"I can tell that will be very exciting for you." - Capt. Ves, about an
Herbacology Conference on
Bajor
"Aye, sir. I nearly wet me kilt." - Dr. MacLeod
"Hey, Reed, I need the Betazoid for a few minutes. Is that okay with you?" - Geoff
"Little did we know Troi was so busy." - Rich, about Counselor Lennzyl's busy schedule
"Dr. MacLeod to my ready room... Stat!" - Capt. Ves
"Okay, I've been gone 31 seconds. Who's been demoted?" - Geoff
"Commander Roderick, I have a lady in my ready room. She'd like to schedule a performance with you." - Capt. Ves
"Computer, monitor the bridge officers for stupidity and ineptness. In such a case, beam them 2 km. off the port nacelle." - Capt. Ves
"Shht! Shht!" - Cmds. Roderick and Demos, imitating the doors opening and closing of the turbolift doors
"Let's go to the Speed of Light-Forward." - Reed
"That would be C-Forward, Reed." - Geoff
"I'd like the ship to go to Yellow Alert." - Capt. Ves
"Yellow Alert!" - Cmdr. Roderick
"Actually, I'd like fuscia, but..." - Capt. Ves
"You kin bloody well kiss me bum!" - Dr. MacLeod to Capt. Ves
"Oh, and by the way, red alert." - Capt. Ves, after the crisis had passed
"I think my command will be... Well, go then!'" - Capt. Ves
"I'll slap him around a bit to wake him up." - Dr. MacLeod, about the unconscious Lennzyl
"I've never known any Trills... but I feel like I did." - Lt. Bandaar waxes nostalgic while looking for Lt. Dax on DS9
"It's the FSIS Remzor." - Lt. Bandaar
"FSIS?" - Capt. Ves
"It's a Fucking Slow Insignificant Ship, sir." - Lt. Bandaar
"That's uncalled for. A good joke but uncalled for." - Capt. Ves
"Perhaps I'll see you in 10 minus 2 Forward." - Dr. MacLeod
"Stalker to Lt. Bandaar... (Heavy breathing)" - Lt. Bandaar
"I understand you thrive on experiences, lieutenant, but I don't want my
officers asleep at
the wheel." - Capt. Ves, referring to Lt. Bandaar's all-nighter'
"But, I'm not the CONN officer, sir." - Lt. Bandaar
"I'm a polite Vulcan." - Lt. Cmdr. Tyndraes, a Betazoid
"I'm cheap. She's expensive." - Reed, pointing to Beth
"My second mission and I blow up a ship, a thousand asteroids, and a moonbase. Damn, I'm good!" - Capt. Ves
"There's a box on the table..." - GM
"I check for traps!" - Mike
"The two of you, spending ten hours alone in that room together..." - Capt. Ves to Lt. Bandaar and Dr. MacLeod
"I'll make it simple, Commander. I look for the truth." - Lt. Alhamen
"YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!" - Everyone
"When I come back, I want YOU to be normal!" - Rich to Brad
"If I had hair, you'd think it would be mussed." - Lt. Bandaar to Capt. Ves, about being late
"If we had functioning Betazoids on this ship..." - Dr. MacLeod
"Yea, let's go to Rent-a-Zoid!" - Capt. Ves
"Bandaar does Risa." - GM
"No, it's Debbie Does Delta-Quadrant." - Andrew
"She's had boyfriends before, but not girlfriends. This is something new." - Lt. Cmdr. Hamilton, about Jennifer Thayer's "friends"
"Some doctors have psychological training." - GM
"Some have no training at all." - Cleve
"Hey, I'm big, I'm blue, and I'm bald." - Capt. Ves
"Now I'm repulsed." - Bandaar
"I am Captain Smurf!" - Capt. Ves, after Q gave him hair.
"Everyone is equal in the eyes of Krusty-Forward." - Bandaar
"Wow, they are more fucked up than we are." - Cleve
"Way more fucked up!" - Jenny, about the Voyager crew
"We'll ask one of the slave Bolians to come serve the Vulcan." - Capt. Ves
"You know, Q, the traditional birthday gift is a neck tie or a pair of socks." - Roderick
"Is there any way to get the plants off the shuttlecraft, like phasers . . . oh wait, we'll get some Bolians up here from the galleys." - Bandaar
"I think I'm okay now . . . (Laughter starts again)." - Rich, after Reed kicked him outside for laughing for 12 minutes.
"Wait a minute, you're going down for what!?!" - Capt. Ves's delayed reaction to Dr. MacLeod's statement that he was going down to the planet to gather herbs.
"MacLeod to Hamilton and Roderick, let's go to 8-Forward. . ." - Dr. MacLeod
"And get fucking ripped." - Hamilton
"How can I arrest a dead person?" - Capt. Ves
"I put in my personal log that I watched The Firm and was gratified to see Tom Cruise kick the shit out of that Quaker Oats guy." - Andy
"Did we scan Lt. Bandaar for signs of intelligence?" - Capt. Ves
"I admit I have no point beyond comic relief." - Reed
"Now is the time on Star Trek when we dance!" - Reed doing his best Dieter impression
"It's a hat trick!" - Reed, upon making Rich laugh for a third time
"If you people keep doing this, I'm going to have to start acting like
the doctor on Voyager." -
Rich, after Jenny makes a scan with a medical tricorder
"You mean you're going to start healing people?" - Mike
"To the trained eye, it takes just like that (SNAP!)" - Rich, about
medical scanning
"So, it took you what, 20, 30 minutes?" - Mike
"The captain I follow is a good man." - Cmdr. Roderick
"And he makes a better woman." - Reed
"Captain Roderick is cool. I wish he was my character." - Andy
"There are some ancient texts about shrinking people." - MacLeod
"That's AFTER their heads are removed." - Tyndraes
"We could put a clapper on the bridge!"
"Shields on! Shields off! Shields on, shields off, the Clapper!" -
Everyone on the bridge
"Roll" - Mike
"You miss" - Reed