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Understanding Survivors’ Experiences:
Common Reactions to Sexual Violations
Rape and sexual assault are
extraordinarily stressful life events. To be an
effective support person, it can be helpful to
know something about some of the common responses
to sexual violations. The following stages of
recovery are only generalizations; not all victims
will follow the same patterns or the same time
frame. Each individual reacts differently; some
may never experience certain symptoms, some may
fluctuate between stages, and some may become
"stuck" in a particular stage.
Therefore, this information should
only be used as a guideline, to attain a general
understanding of how the individual may be
feeling, and what they might be experiencing, in
the present. Do not attempt to use this
information to predict future stages. Each
survivor’s experience of the healing process is
unique, and is influenced by a number of life
factors.
STAGE I: The Initial Shock or
Acute Stage
Victim experiences a sense of
crisis, loss of control, confusion, and a
sense of unreality. The victim may feel a
great deal of confusion and have a hard time
making decisions.
Different response styles are
possible: An individual may be very expressive
(crying, easily startled, "hyperalert",
"hysterical") or withdrawn (numb,
disconnected, quiet, no obvious emotion) or
some combination.
STAGE II: The Denial or
Pseudo-Adjustment Stage
Attempts to go on with life
"as usual." Victims want to forget the
assault. Victims do not usually seek help
during this stage.
You cannot force anyone out of
the denial stage, nor should you try. This is
an effective way of dealing with trauma
temporarily. You might let the victim know
that sooner or later the event will resurface.
Communicate that this is a normal reaction and
that there are resources ready to help, when
he/she wants/needs them.
STAGE III: Reactivation or Decompensation Stage
("Life falls apart")
This phase is usually triggered by some event
that stirs up memories associated with the
assault. In this stage, the real problems
start to surface, and the victim is likely to
seek help from friends, family, and advocates.
This can be confusing for family and friends
who were under the impression that he/she was
"over" the sexual assault.
Survivors may experience depression, suicidal
ideation, feelings of guilt, shame,
helplessness, or confusion. They may
experience academic and relationship
difficulties, physical symptoms (headaches,
gastric problems), nightmares, flashbacks, and
changes in eating and sleeping patterns.
STAGE IV: The Anger Stage
When the victim begins to acknowledge the fact
that they had no control over what happened
and they let go of some of their self-blame,
they may begin to experience intense feelings
of fear, anger, and rage. The victim may be
angry at at everyone but the perpetrator
because he is the "least safe target" for the
victim’s anger.
This stage also usually involves a grieving
process: victims may begin to identify their
personal losses and start to face the pain
around those issues.
STAGE V: The Integration Stage
The assault and the events surrounding it are
viewed as significant life experiences
integrated among other experiences. The event
becomes part of the past and is gradually
acknowledged as an event that continues to
impact who the survivor is.
Remember that rape and sexual assault happen in
all communities. Male survivors, survivors of
color, lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered
survivors all experience similar reactions to
those described above. However, they are also
likely struggling with the additional burdens of
stereotypes, racism, homophobia and other
oppressions, often leaving them feeling even more
isolated, confused, ashamed, frightened, and less
likely to seek support.
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Resources
Ethical
Definitions of Sexual Assault & Rape
Understanding
Survivors' Experiences
Healing: Taking
Care of Yourself
What Do I Say to Someone Who Has Experienced
Violence?
Special considerations for diverse population
Risk
Reduction
&
Prevention
Organizational
Resources
for Survivors
Recommended Readings
Download the
Entire Resource Page
Terms of Use
Acknowledgement
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