Understanding Survivors’ Experiences: Common Reactions to Sexual Violations

Rape and sexual assault are extraordinarily stressful life events. To be an effective support person, it can be helpful to know something about some of the common responses to sexual violations. The following stages of recovery are only generalizations; not all victims will follow the same patterns or the same time frame. Each individual reacts differently; some may never experience certain symptoms, some may fluctuate between stages, and some may become "stuck" in a particular stage.

Therefore, this information should only be used as a guideline, to attain a general understanding of how the individual may be feeling, and what they might be experiencing, in the present. Do not attempt to use this information to predict future stages. Each survivor’s experience of the healing process is unique, and is influenced by a number of life factors.

                                        

STAGE I: The Initial Shock or Acute Stage

Victim experiences a sense of crisis, loss of control, confusion, and a sense of unreality. The victim may feel a great deal of confusion and have a hard time making decisions.

Different response styles are possible: An individual may be very expressive (crying, easily startled, "hyperalert", "hysterical") or withdrawn (numb, disconnected, quiet, no obvious emotion) or some combination.

                                        

STAGE II: The Denial or Pseudo-Adjustment Stage

Attempts to go on with life "as usual." Victims want to forget the assault. Victims do not usually seek help during this stage.

You cannot force anyone out of the denial stage, nor should you try. This is an effective way of dealing with trauma temporarily. You might let the victim know that sooner or later the event will resurface. Communicate that this is a normal reaction and that there are resources ready to help, when he/she wants/needs them.

                                        

 

STAGE III: Reactivation or Decompensation Stage ("Life falls apart")

This phase is usually triggered by some event that stirs up memories associated with the assault. In this stage, the real problems start to surface, and the victim is likely to seek help from friends, family, and advocates. This can be confusing for family and friends who were under the impression that he/she was "over" the sexual assault.

 

Survivors may experience depression, suicidal ideation, feelings of guilt, shame, helplessness, or confusion. They may experience academic and relationship difficulties, physical symptoms (headaches, gastric problems), nightmares, flashbacks, and changes in eating and sleeping patterns.

                                        

STAGE IV: The Anger Stage

When the victim begins to acknowledge the fact that they had no control over what happened and they let go of some of their self-blame, they may begin to experience intense feelings of fear, anger, and rage. The victim may be angry at at everyone but the perpetrator because he is the "least safe target" for the victim’s anger.

 

This stage also usually involves a grieving process: victims may begin to identify their personal losses and start to face the pain around those issues.

                                       

 

STAGE V: The Integration Stage

The assault and the events surrounding it are viewed as significant life experiences integrated among other experiences. The event becomes part of the past and is gradually acknowledged as an event that continues to impact who the survivor is.

 

Remember that rape and sexual assault happen in all communities. Male survivors, survivors of color, lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered survivors all experience similar reactions to those described above. However, they are also likely struggling with the additional burdens of stereotypes, racism, homophobia and other oppressions, often leaving them feeling even more isolated, confused, ashamed, frightened, and less likely to seek support.

 

   

 

 

Resources

 

 

 

Ethical Definitions of Sexual Assault & Rape

          

 

Understanding

Survivors' Experiences

        

 

Healing: Taking

Care of Yourself

        

 

What Do I Say to Someone Who Has Experienced Violence?

        

 

Special considerations for diverse population

        

 

Risk Reduction

& Prevention

        

 

Organizational Resources for Survivors

        

 

Recommended Readings

        

 

 

 

 

        

 

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