Bagel - Pertaining to a score of zero on a bonus.

Bastard team - A team with players from multiple schools on it. Not a reference to the temperament of the team in question, although possibly a reference to the temperament of everyone else when the team does well.

Bounceback - To answer or try to answer when the other team has already negged. Just make sure to WAIT UNTIL THE QUESTION IS OVER!

Buzzer race - An event where everyone playing realizes the answer at the same time, causing up to eight people to try and beat each other in reflexes. History is still waiting for a buzzer race to end in a deadheat, setting off two lights at once and annoying the heck out of the moderator. Stay tuned for further developments.

Caffeine - A necessary part of any tournament, an important chemical which heightens the senses and can have dangerous side-effects. David refuses to play unless he gets his caffeine and has walked out during another team's bonus at practice to purchase said chemical (fortunately, the vending machine is right outside the room).

Canon - A set of all answers you can get away with asking at a tournament. The only way to find out if an answer is in this canon is to write a question on it and see what people think.

Car question - Any question dealing with a subject the team was talking about before the tournament.

Cassandran - A person with the right answer on a bonus who is overruled by the captain in favor of a better-sounding (wrong) answer (named for the mythological character).

Chris Webber rule - Any legislation at a timed tournament issuing a penalty for calling a timeout the team does not possess.

Circle of Death - Three teams who have identical records against each other in round-robin play and who are also tied in actual record. Inevitably, such a tie will be for the final one or two playoff spots. You'd better have thought of a solution to this before the tournament.

Colvin science - Science questions that either (a) are language questions in disguise or (b) can be answered from only token knowledge in the subject.

Colvinating question - A question that just plain doesn't belong, or is so much of a screwball as to smack in the face of the standard writing guidelines. So named because Andy's general response to one is to mutter, "Oh my God! They killed Matt Colvin! You bastards!"

Crossover game - Any game featuring two schools that are otherwise rivals (Duke-UNC), especially if the quiz bowl teams are also very good (Cal-Stanford).

Curved yellow fruit question - Any tossup with an embarrasingly easy clue, esp. if it's an opening clue.

Defensive bonus - A bonus on which your team knows nothing and their team knows everything, but (ha ha!) you have the bonus. Scoring 0 is justified by the opportunity cost of preventing them from getting 30.

Dukeberries - A substance that, when found at certain tournaments, will cause teams that no one thought could win, to win. First thought of after 1999 NAQT Sectionals, when a field containing South Carolina, a strong Kentucky, Georgia Tech, Georgia and Vanderbilt produced as its top two teams Duke and Berry (hence the name).

Embassy - A travel location not worth staying at overnight. If you've been to Ann Arbor, don't stay at the Embassy Hotel, for which this definition is named. The place is run down, the rooms are tiny, and the bathroom is communal to the hall. In short, it's a very bad idea.

Female - 1. Something most quiz bowl players wish there were more of on the circuit. 2. Something there are very few of in the circuit. It is appropriate for any female playing to do anything within her power to distract the opposition. (See also "McBealling")

Find-your-[tail] - A question where the last clue is easy enough that you should have heard it, but not necessarily (which differentiates it from a curved yellow fruit question). Such questions are considered as easy as, well...

Fourth - The player on any team whose skills are noticeably less than any of his three teammates, especially if as far as anyone can tell they are nonexistent.

Gordian Knot - Nickname for Maryland's buzzer system, the very sight of which convinces everyone else not to buy it. Trust me.

Group of Death - At a bracketed tournament, the one group where (a) there is no clear set of teams that should make the playoffs or (b) any team in the group could conceivably make the playoffs. Borrowed from the World Cup.

Hardcore - Very, very, very difficult. See also ACF, as their questions tend to be the most hardcore, although some hardcore questions have been found in NAQT ICT packets and with some serious frequency in CBCI (made you look).

Harvest Bowl - Anything that is seemingly as bad as it gets.

Hat trick - Three consecutive tossups by one player.

Head explosion - The feeling you get when a teammate beats you to a tossup in your specialty, then either gives a wrong answer or doesn't answer. Coined by Peter Braxton and usually practiced by the captain toward the fourth.

Hyper-shutout - Playing against an opponent who has enough negs to result in a worse score than if they hadn't buzzed at all.

Joe - Do NOT ask David who Joe is. You're better off not knowing. This much we can tell you: David made numerous attempts at the 1999 ICT to declare Joe our mascot, only to be consistently overruled by John and Andy.

Judge - A buzzer system consisting of a briefcase and several foot pedals for buzzers. Great both because the buzzers clack loudly (allowing for obnoxious time when the other team has a Simpsonian buzz), and because the briefcase has this look to it of "the football" from CIA fame.

Kournikova - 1. Anna, the Russian female tennis player who as of this writing was dating Sergei Fedorov, a Detroit Red Wings pro hockey player, and who at 18 is considered one of the finest babes on the tour. 2. By extension, any girl hot enough to risk life and limb for. This term entered the lexicon after it was determined that the team that went to NAQT ICT, by a unanimous vote, would risk getting attacked by Fedorov in order to have one night with Kournikova. How male of us.

Laming - At a trash-only tournament, having a bonus thrown out because you think it not to your liking. Usually followed by an even worse bonus.

Mailing List - Either (a) the set of people who participate in an email conversation through the official listserv run by R. Hentzel, or (b) the people who send said emails. Anything, seemingly, is fair game on the list, as long as approved by the moderator. (Upon the advice of a list member, the address itself has been withheld.)

McBealling - A passive-aggressive tactic taken by females in which they where clothing specifically designed to distract their opponents (their teammates supposedly being more used to it). This tactic is both demeaning to women and a tremendous benefit to their game, and hey, we aren't complaining. Named for the Fox character who made really, really short skirts be in vogue.

Meow - Just don't say it.

Neg - To score minus five on a question by buzzing in early and getting the answer wrong. There is only one time when this is advised, and that involves a timed round and a one-question lead with five seconds to go.

No-hitter - Defeating a team so badly that they cannot get in a single buzz for the entire match, but you don't get every single question asked.

One-man show - 1. A team dominated by one player, who seemingly gets every single tossup his team gets. 2. The more literal meaning, anyone playing solo (especially if they find a way to win).

Perfect game - Getting 20/20 in an untimed match (never achieved in anyone's memory).

Power - A correct answer given early enough to merit an extra-special five points for the team. The brainchild of NAQT.

Quiz-a-matic - Buzzer system that has been around since (and until) the 1980s and that seems impervious to any form of damage, possibly even nuclear holocaust.

Quiz bowl - The game played by two teams using buzzer sets and knowledge no sane man would have. So named because College Bowl was taken.

Repeat - 1. Something said to the moderator if a part of a bonus was not understood. 2. An answer that sounds familiar, primarily because you HAVE heard it before this tournament.

Seripaking - To be so excited about getting an answer early that (a) you don't see that your teammate beat you to it and (b) you blurt out the answer, disqualifying your team. Named for a notorious incident at Sectionals where Andy, so excited about getting Se Ri Pak off of the Duke reference (Jenny Chuasiriporn), shouted it out on behalf of Bryce, who had rung in. Needless to say, the letdown was obvious, even for him.

Shutout - Through some combination of your good and their bad buzzing, holding a team to exactly 0 points in a tournament. Even funnier if they actually did get a question right, but had tossups and negs cancel.

Simpsonian buzz - Any buzz where the player is 100% confident in his answer until after he buzzes in, at which point he either hears a clue or remembers a fact that utterly negates his guess. This is named because the only appropriate start to your answer is "D'oh!".

Simpsons - The official show of Quiz Bowl.

Sit - To know the answer but not buzz, a decision one usually regrets.

Star of Death - A Circle of Death with five members, seen most recently at Penn Bowl 8 and hopefully never again. 

Stick - To answer a tossup very early. Rewarded only by NAQT.

Thatsit - Any question with an it-can't-be-that-obvious answer. So named because everyone says, "That's IT?!?", after the correct answer is finally given.

Trademark - Adjectivally used, a synonym for vintage used to describe a question where you can pinpoint the member of the team who wrote it because you can think of nobody else anywhere who would write such a question. EXAMPLE: "Case Western wrote a tossup on ECW? That is trademark Anthony de Jesus!"

Trash - A question dealing with a subject that it's safe to say has never come up in the classroom, and not because it's too obscure either. Subsets of trash include rock and roll, magazines, television, movies, and stuff no one in their right mind should know anything about. Trash is the great equalizer of quiz bowl, and with the right amount and type of trash, anyone can beat anyone. Just don't tell Maryland we said that.

Turkey - In contrast to a hat trick, three consecutive negs by one player.

Unanswer - The act of buzzing in and not giving an answer, usually found if the result of a Simpsonian buzz.

Vulture - To answer on a bounceback before the question is complete. Such behavior is considered rude unless one of three conditions apply. Either (a) you're running out of time on a packet; (b) the question is droning on and on and you're just too damn sick of the question to hear another bloody word of it; or (c) the other team negged so early that you think the question hasn't passed the power mark (NAQT only).

Warm body - Someone there as an ornamental decoration, usually in conjunction with a one-man show.

Wrestling Packet - A special round written by Andy along with two other players at the request of Anthony de Jesus. It has to be seen to be believed. Coming soon to the Stanford Packet Archive (we hope).

Zanzibar hostess - Any female that a team visiting for college bowl tries to pick up. This attempt is usually unsuccessful. This definition especially applies when the pickup attempt was made as a result of a dare or because the team member lost a bet.