The Bulge on Bush's Back

Over the last couple of weeks, much has been made about a mysterious bulge on President Bush's back during the first debate. Many believe it to be a radio receiver, allowing Mr. Bush to receive answers from an offstage advisor. The story has gained so much momentum that "it has become what literary critics call an objective correlative, or an object that evokes large emotions and ideas" (Bumiller). There's even an entire website devoted to the subject (see http://bushwired.blogspot.com/).
Frankly, this scandal is ridiculous. First, if Bush was receiving answers, wouldn't he have performed better in the debate? Said Terry McAuliffe, chairman of the Democratic National Committee, "if he had an earpiece on during that debate and those are the best answers that he could do, then he should be impeached and everybody who works for him should never be allowed to work again" (qtd. in Bumiller). A majority of Americans believe that Bush lost that debate and did not meet their expectations. He seemed confused and unconfident, two signs which certainly point towards Bush not receiving help.
The second problem with the radio transmitter theory is the political risk. In the event that Bush was caught with a receiver, he could start packing his bags now and head back to Texas because there would be no way he could win the election. "I honestly don't think the man is going to risk his presidency taking a transmitter into the debate," (qtd. in Bumiller) said McAuliffe. Also, for the theory to be true, Bush would've had to have an earpiece. The cameras showed Bush's face continuously throughout the entire debate and nobody saw any earpieces, while in the short time that Bush's back was visible, this bulge was found.
The bulge in Bush's back was pretty apparent, so if it wasn't a radio receiver, what was it? "The box was one of those shock collars," joked Bush's campaign manager Ken Mehlman. "Every time he scowled he was shocked" (qtd. in Bumiller). Another explanation came from chief of staff Andrew Card, who claimed "it was just a poorly tailored suit" (qtd. in Bumiller). That's unlikely, considering this is the President of the United States who can afford to have top-of-the-line suits custom tailored. Besides, a bulge that obvious is not likely to be from the suit. The most likely explanation for the bulge is that it was some type of security measure, either a bulletproof vest or tracking device.
Bush-backers (no pun intended), fear not. If Bush's opponent, Senator John Kerry, has not made reference to the bulge, the radio transmitter theory is probably illegitimate. However, the White House has to stop denying that the bulge was there and merely tell the public what it was. Not only could that help the President, but it would certainly help the citizens of the United States as we would no longer have to read websites devoted entirely to this ridiculous scandal.

Works Cited
Bumiller, Elisabeth. "Talk of Bubble Leads to Battle Over Bulge." New York Times 18
Oct. 2004, natl. ed.: A14.