A word of explanation before I continue with the story, I began writing up the adventures after the Snow White incident, when we were in Antioch (the story for which follows). I realized that if we were on our own earth, in the past, I could write some of this up and leave it somewhere that it could be found in the future, so that if we never made it back, at least someone would know what had happened. Anyway, the Snow White story was written in 1098CE in Antioch, in the Middle East, during the First Crusade. What follows was written partly in Antioch, and finished in Gordium (don't ask yet) in Asia Minor, in the 300sBCE.
Part III - A Tale of One City, Two Armies, and Some Guys on a Hill
We jumped through the trap door in Aesop's garden, and found ourselves in a great library, where those of us who were in the fairy tale adventure, and those who were left behind were reunited. The Chappell entity told us not to touch anything, and to be careful about reading any of the books, while he found the book he needed. There were numerous large tomes sitting on book stands, but I took it as a good sign that it was not necessary for any of them to be chained down (which I've heard must be done with your more powerful books of magic).
Chappell found the book he wanted, and we gathered around. He turned back the pages, and we saw what we took to be scenes from Earth's past, going back in time as he went towards the front of the book. He found the picture he wanted, a desert scene that reminded me somewhat of New Mexico (of course, as Joe would tell you, everything reminds me of New Mexico). We stood in a circle around it and held hands, while Chappell did that voodoo that he do so well.
We went through some dark, strange, "nether dimension", and those who opened their eyes saw some very bizarre things they couldn't describe. We landed in the desert land, we being, me, David Sakell, Jon Kilborne(sp?), and Michael Penn, with one of us, it slips my mind who, unconscious from whatever it was he saw in the transition. We were warned to take off our watches, and not leave anachronisms behind, indicating that we were in the past of our own planet. It was a rather warm day, we had no water, and Chappell said we needed to get moving, so he picked up the unconscious one (Jon, I think) and we began heading the direction he indicated.
After a little while, everyone was awake, and we saw horsemen approaching. Still under the delusion we were in the American southwest, we thought they might be conquistadors, but we saw their appearance was too different when they approached. We then thought they might be Mongols, but when they spoke, we agreed that their language definitely sounded Arabic. Chappell asked us to distract them, so Michael started rolling on the ground "in pain". The C-unit discreetly cast a spell, so that we could now understand the Arab fellows, but he warned us to cover our mouths when we spoke, as we could see that their lips were not in synch with their words, and ours did the same.
The natives definitely did not look friendly, and told us in no uncertain terms that we should not be there. We then quickly contracted the plague, and explained that we were going to the hills to die, and carry out the purification rituals so that we would not contaminate the land with the plague. They began to get edgy, and our symptoms worsened, and I loudly began to worry that I was getting a nosebleed, and that if the blood hit the ground, the entire area would become tainted.
The horsemen took mercy on us, and told us to be on our way, helpfully pointing out the direction to head to a deserted area where we could die. This was not the direction we wanted to go, so we waited while they left, and continued in the same heading as before.
We finally came to the road we wanted, and saw a motley group heading towards us. They caught up with us, and greeted us, generously giving us a little water. They told us that they had come across from Europe, through Constantinople, heading to Antioch to join with the army of the crusaders, immediately alarming me, as I knew that the history of the crusades was not a very pleasant one. They asked where we came from, and I explained that we were from the east, come from the kingdom of Prester John as advance scouts, highly impressing them.
The great city of Antioch appeared, and as we discovered, it had just been taken by the crusaders after a long siege, with the brutal conquest quite obvious from the blood and bodies everywhere. Through various conversations and from what both Chappell and Michael knew, it was revealed that this was June 2, 1098CE, the First Crusade, destined to be successful, despite its leadership. This leadership was made up of Duke Godfrey of Bouillon, Count Robert of Normandy, Count Raymond of Toulous, and Behemond of Taranto, with Godfrey proclaimed king in the Church of the Holy Sepulchre.
We reported in as the advance for the army of Prester John, due to be coming from the east to assist in this holy venture. Everyone liked this news, and we were assigned to Count Raymond's army, under the command of Phillip of Armand, to be scouts. We were assigned to go sit on a hill outside of town, send a runner every evening to report, and to send a runner as soon as anyone was sighted approaching. We headed out to the hills, as Chappell suggested that it would be good to get out of town for a few days, as the Arab armies would be coming. As we left we were careful to avoid the section of the city, including the fortress, that were still Arab strongholds. Michael stayed behind, to do research, hang out with the priests, and do whatever else there is to do in Antioch.
As we passed through town, we discussed many things, ships and sails and sealing wax, cabbages and kings. I pointed out to Jon that all the necessaries for the production of gunpowder could probably be found in the area. It was also seen that food was pretty scarce (there was a surprising absence of rats), although we were able to get a little bit, we were mostly expected to forage and fend for ourselves in the wild, as there would probably be better pickings there than in the city.
We took our position on the hill, with very little to see. We just sat around for a few days, sending runners every night to report, and pick up charcoal for Jon (when he went in, he collected Arab body parts for the sulfur). Most of the wildlife we found to live off of were the bats living in a cave on the side of the hill. The bats also provided the third requirement for gunpowder, in their guano.
It was the cave that resulted in one of the more exciting moments of our adventure there, with potential long term implications that worry me. When we first found the cave, Jon and David went in, while I, not a fan of small passages in unknown caves, stayed outside. Jon and David found two sealed clay jars containing old scrolls, and came out to find me trying to deal with a rather unpleasant character. It seems I awoke some sort of magical creature (a goelem, I believed at the time, he seemed to be composed of rock or sand). He stood 7 feet tall, and had gold jewelry, and had been sleeping peacefully for several centuries before I disturbed him when I was poking around outside the cave.
He wanted a large payoff in gold, which we did not have, so he became even more upset despite my apologies. Jon and David emerged from the cave, and I told them the situation. The nasty creature issued a challenge, for which I was to choose the form, and if we lost, he would eat us. My first impulse was to go with the traditional challenge of riddles. Unfortunately, I listened to Jon, who suggested a race into the cave to retrieve one of the jars, the first out with a jar being the winner. This was based on the assumption that it was a small passage, and he was a big guy. Unfortunately, he was a shape shifter, and oozed in and out in a matter of seconds.
We were then in deep shit, so of course Elf-boy showed up to enjoy the situation. We protested that the whole thing was a mistake, and that he'd cheated in the challenge. Fabio was somewhat annoyed, and bought the giant off with the scrolls found in the cave, and a bag of gold. The arrangement reached was that the giant would have ownership of our souls, but Fabio had an 899 year lease with option to renew. Somehow he bargained the giant down from his original demand of a 900 year lease. He must have learned his negotiation on the Bizarro world. Our hope was that the hill would be obliterated in the six day war.
With that out of the way, we continued to sit on the hill for a few more days, being careful not to step on any rocks that looked like they might contain a sleeping giant. Jon finished mixing his gunpowder, in a small cask that he had picked up in town. The other interesting events were the two surprise visitors to our hill. The first an old man who "felt constantly wonder, universe at wonders and the". We had a short philosophical discussion, but his main reason for coming was "felt he needed to food us to bring". We thanked him for the food, as we had not had a whole lot to eat, and anything was welcome. He then disappeared off into the desert.
Our second visitor was not nearly so much fun. A psychotic Arab came charging up the hill, and a short battle ensued. Jon and David got in a couple hits, and the Arab nicked Jon. I finished the fight when I got in a mighty blow with the business end of my halberd. He crumpled, we took everything worth taking, which wasn't much, and dumped the body.
About this time (June 5), the Arab reinforcements arrived, and the victorious crusaders were now under siege in the city they had just conquered. We snuck in past their lines through a gate that wasn't heavily guarded, and were now in the biggest mess of our lives. We hung around the city for several days, waiting for whatever was going to happen to happen. We scrounged food, mostly bought with the "silver" coins we had that bore the pictures of strange kings in faraway lands.
We accepted a dinner invitation from a man named Chimon, who seemed to know us already. He asked Jon if he got the answers he needed in Delphi, and we talked about travel, the adventures that we'd had, and I mentioned the adventure we'd had in Egypt, but in different bodies. This led to the subject of reincarnation, and how well we remembered past lives. We had a delightful evening, and a good dinner with food that Chimon had hoarded for just such an occasion.
It turned out that Michael had gotten chummy with Bishop Adhemar and the other VIPs in town, and it was through his connections that the important part of our little vacation to Antioch was mad possible. It seems that a knight from Provence named Peter Bartholomaeous had a vision in which St. Andrew showed Peter where (in the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, I believe) the "Holy Lance" was buried.
This worried me a bit, as according to the mythology of the Lance (or "Spear of Destiny" as I knew it) it was the spear used to pierce the side of Christ on the cross, and had great power. It was said that the Spear would make any army that followed it invincible, that it is an effective weapon against magical creatures, and that with the proper spell and enough magical energy, it can be used to bring about Ragnarok (I'm not too sure about that one). It is said that Hitler had a fascination with finding mystical artifacts, and found what he believed to be the spear.
Anyway, our guide told us that this is what we were here for, and that we needed to get the important people to find the Lance/Spear, and swipe it ourselves. The problem was that Peter was not the most upstanding character, and had habits that would explain any visions he might have. We got our hands on Peter, bribed his C.O. (with bread) to transfer him to us, where we kept him sober and worked to get his story heard. With Michael's connections, we got him an audience with the Bishop and Count Raymond, and it was agreed that efforts would be made to find the Lance.
Our plan was to allow excavation to begin, but along the way, to use Jon's gunpowder to provide a diversion so that we could grab the Lance. We bribed the men in charge of the catapults (we could have bought the entire Christian army with enough bread), telling them that the cask contained a present for the Arabs that we collected from all the men. Sort of a variation on the old, burning bag of dog shit on the doorstep. We hoped this would incite an attack by the Arabs and pull everyone to the wall, so that we could just nab the Lance.
We were present at the excavation as guards, and watched the progress until we judged it time for the diversion. We sent the signal to the catapult, and off it went. The aim was good, and the explosion was better, we had quite a successful diversion on our hands. All the important people ran out, and we convinced some of the diggers to go too. We stayed behind and watched the progress, as the diggers got quite deep. Eventually, the fighting was dying down, and the diggers were about ready to quit. They took a break, and Chappell showed up again to orchestrate. He broke the point off the back side of my halberd, sent me back to my guard post and took Jon inside with him.
He came back out, and the diggers and muckity-mucks returned, and immediately found the lance. It looked to me like the point from halberd, but rusty, on a wooden shaft. Everyone was happy, we left, and Chappell sent a couple people off on errands. One was to take an old rusted spear point and wooden shaft that he provided to a weapon smith to be joined, and another to pick up a banner that he put on the newly constituted spear.
He said that our work here was done, and that Michael had decided to stay behind, as he kind of liked it there. We wished him luck, made our circle, held hands, and disappeared.