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2-26-02
now i wasted my entire night
instead of reading as i lay dying, i worked on the ad for
marketing our new cd REcreation for borrowed and blue.
so please check
it out (and buy it when it comes out) or this will all have
been for naught.
hmm.. my first real attempt at flash.
good night all
2-18-02
funny how these things work out... coincidence or divine hand?
anyway to know the answer to the ambiguous, rhetorical, and social
mask-causing (take the air with a tobacco trance) question, "How
are you?"
see Psalm 25:16-22.
good night everyone.
good night, moon.
2-16-02
well, just the opposite of last email.
felt a bit lonely today... compounded by a few things which i won't
bore you details of.
took mcats today, got up at 8am to get over to the kaplan center.
yeah, it went alright. hopefully i will do well and that will take
the pressure off the rest of my study time for the mcats.
Funny, yesterday i figured i ought to be more grateful. today i
feel like a lot of what i have to give isn't much. guess i need
some 'down time' tonight before i go to sleep.
singing at cgs tomorrow.
thsi is very strange having an online journal as well as a personal
(pen) journal. definitely there are things i wouldn't put online
that i'd rather keep... personal. and writing twice as much...
2-13-02
so, today i get this email:
Dear dyc@duke.edu,
Someone has sent you a valentine!
To find out who click here:
http://www.acrushonyou.com
With Love,
The Crush Mistress
This email has been individually sent to dyc@duke.edu
because someone you know has entered your name on our site.
If you do not want us to alert you when someone
registers a crush on you, please click here:
http://www.acrushonyou.com/remove.php
Acrushonyou.com takes your Privacy, Security and
Abuse Issues Seriously. We have created the following for your protection:
http://www.acrushonyou.com/privacy.php
http://www.acrushonyou.com/terms.php
If you have any comments or enquires phone acrushonyou.com
(626) 463-1269 x1714
Well, it's nice to be loved, I guess :). So I check out the site.
It's a nice little program they've got set up. See , you put in
the email address of the person who you think has a crush on you.
However, unbeknownest to you, our friendy Crush Mistress sends out
an email to each person you guess, telling them YOU have a crush
on them (whether or not you really did) So the question is.. who
wrote my email address? :). Or did someone actually surf to "acrushonyou.com"
so specifically send me a valentine? If you did, thank you very
much! Now my valentine's day won't be like Charlie Brown's.
So I won't analyze this too much, I'll just treasure this crush
:). Will the real slim shady please stand up?
Anyway, its time to get back to work. Had an 8am english test which
I predict... a B on. Depends how smart trinity people are. I think
i missed about 5 questions of 24, which brings me just above 75%...
assuming some partial credit too? And a nice little 75 on the BME100
test wasnt so hot. round three tomorrow: bme164, the class i actually
like. well i like english too :).
just have to give kudos to albert cause he stayed up all night
studying english and doing cps. poor guy :(. i ought to be grateful
for the 5 hrs-on-average sleep ive been getting this week.
2-7-02
Rescue
Me [off The Mystery - Vineyard]
Rik Leaf
'Cause
your love is better than life,
My lips will always praise you.
Peace has escaped me as I lie awake through the night, waitin'...
And
I have never been more patient than when I anticipate you
--And I lie on my back, and let the tears run down my neck,
Like intercession.
Luh
deh a lie-ee yeh yeah
Luh deh a lie-ee yeh yeah
Luh deh a lie-ee yeh yeah
Luh deh a lie-ee yeah heah
Am
I just scared that I might really hear your voice
--And I know it deep inside.
'Cause then I'd turn and give the keys to my fears,
And let them steal you away.
Am
I just scared 'cause I really hear your voice
--I know it deep inside.
And then I turn and give the keys to my fears;
Let them steal you away...
Desperately,
and I need your voice to say,
'This is my own
And nothing can separate me.'
Rescue
me!
As I cling to you
Oh, I desperately…
--And I need your voice to say
'This is my own;
Nothing, nothing will separate me'
Luh
deh a lie-ee yeh yeah
Luh deh a lie-ee yeh yeah
Luh deh a lie-ee yeh yeah
Luh deh a lie-ee yeah heah
its
now morning/
i woke up around 11:40, with a class on East (white building) at
10:55
Too late to go, even if i wanted
Boy, was I annoyed.
So I had a class/grades panic attack--
test tomorrow, tuesday, and wednesday.
Not fun. I had to back out of the fun skiing trip because of it.
I started worrying about my grades not doing so well this semester.
Boy its the first round of tests, when your grades are seemingly
set in stone. Determines the academic tone of the rest of the semester.
Besides
the point. Grades aren't everything. I know that. Do well, but am
I letting them overshadow my life? Seems I may have been doing them
out of my own strength these past weeks.
Another
one bites the dust. What else needs to change? I'm listening...
2-3-02
Hmmm.
did i mention that last week some nasty scripting or activeX control
destroyed my outlook express email message folders?
in other words, i lost all my emails except for what was in my
Duke inbox at the time. For a pack rat like me who keeps nearly
all the email he has ever received, that's a pretty big loss --
im sure no less than 1000 messages from friends and family. Well,
life goes on, and I guess no more living in the past?
i had the chance to lead worship for iv the past couple of weeks.
it seemed to go well; people seemed to be able to worship God. Funny,
I still find myself at a loss for words sometimes when I'm up there,
and end up mumbling incoherencies into the microphone. It went better
the second time, but I still need to speak up. Silly introvert-dave...
he's still around here. Anyway, I was able to worship. man, the
weight of this position is heavy. i mean, i love doing it, and given
the chance, i would do it for the rest of my life, but its a responsibility.
and keeping my spiritual life up. I guess I feel like I need to
be doing well spiritually to lead worship. This is a misconception,
as our worship to God is probably BEST when we are broken and humble.
It's when we fully realize God's grace and our need for it; that
we really are crap and we need God... all we try to do on earth--
all *I* try to do, pleasing people, earning things, winning, competing...
so much is of people-standards and not God-standards. -- i need
to be a child of God.
and yet on the other hand I desire so much to be in tune with the
Spirit. I've always admired so much people who are spirit filled--
who are really aware of whats going on... prophets in a sense, but
also teachers.
The weeks have been busy. I just backed out of the class of 2003
ski trip, for better or for worse. I really wanted to go, but 3
tests within that time span plus the horrible mondays i have this
semester got the better of me. I dunno. Seems all the time I'm getting
busy. Some of my activities I enjoy and sometimes I don't enjoy
them. Like the Asian a cappella gorup... it's fun, and I want to
do LNY cause it turned out to be really cool last year-- but at
the same time, I've been really frustrated by the group and time
commitment its asking. it's minimal, but its cutting into my social
life. I guess its not half bad, i get to hang out with some other
asian guys who i might not necessarily know very well, so I get
to know them better. I came so close to cutting this due to time
constraints but then I realized it was one of my few non-christian
oriented activities.
So, I've been thinking a lot about what I need to work on in myself.
I've decided it is patience. Being the ambitious dukie/perfectionist/asian
i want things done right, well, and fast. Well, that can't always
be good. I need to be able to trust people more, to believe they
can do the job just as well, to be able to spend time helping even
if its faster to do it myself. Hmm.. this sounds bad, as if I think
I do eveyrthing well. Obviously I don't. hmm... i think i am slightly
controlling in a way, and that needs to change. its hard though,
because i dont think i even realize sometimes when i act that way.
another thing is sensitivity, especially of my mouth. i've been
tending to joke around a lot lately, and in the right company it
works fine and we have a good time. but some people dont appreciate
the joking as much, and when I realize it, it makes me feel like
a real [donkey].
gosh darn it, i feel like when i take steps forward i sacrifice
something that ultimately sets me backward.
slightly frustrated.
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