Humor
Humor
| Guns and Politics |
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Good News: Bill Clinton is building us a bridge to the future. Bad News: Ted Kennedy is driving us across.
G. Gordon Liddy Show, 30 August 1996 I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.
Statesmen are dead politicians. Lord knows we need more statesmen.
He may look like an idiot and talk like and idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
Jury - A group of 12 people, who, having lied to the judge about their health, hearing, and business engagements, have failed to fool him.
A man may be a fool and not know it -- but not if he is married.
Profanity is the crutch of the ignorant, but every once in a while you've got to talk to one of those ignorant motherfuckers.
It ain't no sin if you crack a few laws now and then. As long as you don't break any.
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It isn`t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
Adultery is the application of democracy to love.
Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Familiarity breeds contempt. . . and children.
Remorse -- Regret that one waited so long to do it.
Yes, evil comes in many forms, whether it be a man-eating cow or Joseph Stalin [or insert the scumbag totalitarian or statist of choice. My present favorite is Bill Clinton.], but you can't let the package hide the pudding! Evil is just plain bad! You don't cotton to it. You gotta smack it in the nose with the rolled-up newspaper of goodness! Bad dog. Bad dog.
Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable.
Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'nice doggy' until you can find a rock.
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