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Infrequently Asked Questions (iFAQ) page
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1. As an international double-naught spy, brain surgeon, and playboy, what are your main recreational interests?
I
spend much of my spare time in the lab, where I invented the Internet.
My lab currently hosts a team of devoted anthropology and linguistics grad
students who, under my guidance, are teaching monkeys not to talk. And I
am currently attempting to develop a device that will cure the world of
"soft rock."
2. Do you also like racing?
Yes--that's
me on the right, on Schumacher's tail at Silverstone in 2002.
Ross Brawn was fit to be tied, as much money as Ferrari spends on
engines. I almost bagged Schumi at Stowe, a little later, but he was blocking like
crazy--in the photo you can see that he's checking my position in his mirror.
3. What's the difference between a litgeek and an armadillo?
When
you find an armadillo dead on the highway, there are usually brake
skid marks indicating that the driver tried to avoid hitting it.
4. Is there a difference between leprosy and Scientology?
Most decent people will not loathe, mock, and despise you for being a leper.
5. What about the time you found a set of water skiis?
I spent several weeks looking for a lake with a slope steep enough for skiing.
6. This is really stupid.
That isn't a question.
7. OK, then: When will this stupid page be done?
Last updated 29 March 2008; copyright 2008 by the Committee for the Ruthless Suppression of Billy Joel, Inc.