| February
5, 2001
Welcome! If you are seeking a place that will excite and inspire you, challenge and grow you, welcome to Ffopir University. Luxuriously situated in the rolling hills of beautiful backwoods Georgia, Ffopir aspires to become everything you want it to be and more! Established in 2001, Ffopir stands to become one of the preeminent centers of higher education in the lovely South. Founded upon our most fundamental ideals of freedom, creativity, and luxury, Ffopir offers one of the most novel and liberal educations attainable in the country. Whether you dream of becoming a millionaire, or of simply marrying one, we guarantee that Ffopir is the place to be. We have so much to offer everyone who wants to be anyone! Country club exercise facilities, class-sized spas complete with full-service wet bars, two eighteen-hole golf courses rivaling the Master's in Augusta, dormitory rooms worthy of the Ritz, theaters as posh as the New York Metropolitan, museums reminiscent of the Guggenheim, and classrooms fashionably outfitted with reclining leather seats and state-of-the-art technology. If you desire comfort and luxury while you learn, there is no better place than Ffopir-learn while you live the life you've always wanted! Not only is Ffopir's environment conducive to learning, but our non-traditional curriculum taught by our own intellectual geniuses, promises to promote academic distinction, social class and elitism, as well as economic and financial freedom. Renowned for our extravagance, we spare no expense when it comes to your education or your overseas bank accounts. Join the elite today! We hope you'll apply and come to Ffopir so we can expand our horizons-realizing success together! Sincerely, |
