Welcome to Mark Stories
March 9, 1984 - September 8, 2003

Hi, this page was made to celebrate Mark for being Mark. If you ever had the fortune of meeting Mark Alan Peterson I guarantee you didn't forget it. I also guarantee if you had spent more than 15 minutes with him you have a funny or warm story to tell about the encounter. That's where this page comes in. Mark was so unique, I never want his stories to disappear so the people who spent the most time with him, his friends, or just anyone who feels like they have a great story to tell and want it remembered can type it up, send it here, and have it shared for as long as Duke and Angelfire lets us do this. A funny thing to note, almost every story could end on the line "...but that was just Mark." Enjoy.

E-mail stories to Nick Stefanow at nps13@duke.edu with "Mark Story" in the subject line. No story is "too stupid" or "not good enough", if it helps you remember - it will go up. Help make this site great. Started 4/13/2004.

Timber!
By Nick Murphy

Well this isn’t a first hand story, but I thought it would be good to mention. During senior week I remember Tim Irvine telling me about how him, Mark, and a few others went down to the beach really early one morning. Now mind you, it was amazing to see that man up before noon let alone during the sunrise. Anyway, I remember Tim telling me about how they were running through the waves and he came up behind Mark to shove him. But before he could lay a hand on him, Mark fell flat on his face. Tim busted out laughing and Mark got up and started chasing him. While chasing Tim, Mark kept falling down. I remember talking to Mark later that day about it and all he could do was smile and laugh. What makes this story so special, like Mark, that even though he kept falling, he could always laugh about himself and any misfortunes he may have had. On this anniversary of his death, to picture Mark running on the beach during the sunrise is a beautiful thing and it’s nice to know that he is doing the same thing in heaven even while I write this story. We miss you, always.
to top

Beat Downs
By Jared Lucki

Everyday when I would come home from school Mark and my brother would either be sitting up stairs watching TV or downstairs playing some PS2. As soon as I opened the door I would hear, "It's time for your daily beating!" I would run all through my house with Mark chasing right behind me. Pretty scary. The whole house would be shaking. It was always the scariest part of my day. Mark would always some how get a hold of me, hold me down, and beat on me. I always made the wrong decision and hit him back. I never did learn my lesson.
to top

Tania's Tramp
By Tania Thompson

Well... I think I was a freshman, so Mark was a junior. I was sitting on my front porch one summer day, talking on the phone, when a car pulls up in of my house. It was Mike Bell and Mark. They had decided to give me a surprise visit. I was happy to see them and I’m sure the feeling was mutual, but Mark was happier to see my trampoline at the end of my driveway. So I brought him down to it. I’m not gonna lie, I was nervous for my poor trampoline with BIG Mark's eyes sparkling over it. But Mark jumped on it and everything was fine. We were all just sitting on it and talking when my mom comes outside on the back deck with a look of fright in her eyes. She was like, "uh, Hi Tania's friends..." After they left I went inside and my mom said, "Wow, amazing that thing is still standing."
to top

Ball-tag
By Josh Pryor

About a week after we all graduated high school, me and a few others (including Mark) were chillin at "the bench" on National Road. “The bench” was just a place to chill and yell things at passing cars. On this particular night, Mark thought it would be just hilarious to ball tag me. Needless to say, Mark's massive hand, slapping my testicles, was one of the most painful things I have ever endured. That was the last time I ever saw Mark. I left to go to boot camp a few days later. That was one night I will never forget.
to top

Young Mark x 2
By Renee Peterson

Mark was extremely afraid of bugs. One day, when Mark was about 5 years old, he was outside playing on the patio and a caterpillar crawled on his foot. He started crying and wanted me or Robbie to brush it off. We just laughed at him and went in the house. About 30 minutes went by and he still had not come in the house. I looked out and he was still standing in the same spot. He was hunched over and the foot with the caterpillar on it was up on tip-toe. He was crying and begging for anyone to get the "hairy snake" off his foot. We left him out there for about another 20 minutes until my mom took pity on him and brushed it off.

Another time, when Robbie was in junior high, there was this girl who liked him. She would come to our house almost every day. Robbie was too nice to tell her he wasn't interested. Instead he let Mark do it for him. Mark, who was around 5 or 6, told the girl, "I don't know why you come here all the time. Robbie said you have ashy lips." Needless to say, she never came back.
to top

Let it Rain
By Luke Hladek

I used to play basketball with Mark in fourth grade in the ol’ Woodsale League. If anyone knows me they know I suck at basketball. I’m like that guy on Along Came Polly...'Let it rain!' Anyway, Mark was so huge that he always just dominated. Luckily, I had him on my team. He, being the gentle giant he was, would always pass me the ball. (He was the only person on our team that would pass me the ball.) He had to have had like 90 points every game cause everyone else sucked and they would brick it constantly and he wouldn’t even jump. He would just stand there and grab it like Shaq in Blue Chips with those little kids. So yeah, during our last game Mark passes me the ball. I dribble through my legs and bust a three pointer. Apparently, I went crazy. Crazy as in…jumping up and down, screaming, flailing, ranting, raving, and I probably cried a little too. I don’t even remember it all that much. But anytime after that when I saw Mark and there was a basketball around, or we talked about basketball, or we saw Coach Andy, or whenever he just wanted to, he would tell me about it and how excited I was. He always remembered so much stuff that no one else did. Every time he would tell this story it would lead into another random one. He was good for that. But I can still see him doing the impression of me when I dribbled through my legs and hit a three...with the assist from the big man of course.

Editor's Note: resin75 (8:05:11 PM): man i fucking hated basketball
to top

Bustin' My Balls
By Luke Hladek

After telling the basketball story he would immediately follow with is one... Ok, everyone knows that Mark was huge and whatever. But apparently, he was a superhero too. Or at least has superhero strength. One day Mark was hanging out at my house after another fine day at TMS. Everyone always came over to use the phone or whatever. Well this particular day I had a soccer game and Mark had nothing better to do so he came to my game with me. Before the game I said he could mess around with my brand new soccer ball. He went to the fenced in field at Park while I played down below. About halfway through the game I see Mark just punting my ball as hard as he can. No one else…just Mark and my ball. I thought it was kind of funny but no big deal. Then, a few minutes later, I look up and see that Mark had quit punting. He’s just walking down to the field where I am. I just figure he got tired or something. So the game ends and Mark comes over and I ask him for my new ball. So he pulls this lump of crap out from behind his back and goes, “I kicked it too hard.” Now, I’ve played soccer since I was like 3 and I’ve never seen someone kick a damn ball so hard that it popped. And this thing didn’t just get a little hole in it...it exploded. So either he kicked it and it blew up, or it blew up a little and he just kept kicking it, either way, it was totaled. I am still so amazed by it that I laugh. I’ve never been mad been mad about it. The rubber inside was outside like a popped balloon! I’ve seen people kick balls at a brick wall as hard as they can for hours and it might start to warp the ball. And this 7th grader just punts a ball over and over for about an hour and blows it apart. He never let me forget this story. That kid was somethin’ else man...super human.
to top

Finally Legal...
By Nick Stefanow AKA Stick

The night of Mark's funeral Ashely Adamovich had a small party. On our way there we realized we had no way to get beer. God damnit, Mark.
to top

Four from Mr. P
By Robert Peterson

One Monday I told Mark to cut the grass for the week. He said OK. I came home from work that day and looked around. “Mark, why didn’t you cut the grass on the side of the house?” I asked. “You didn’t tell me to cut the side of the house so I only cut the front,” he replied. “OK OK,” I thought and told him to cut the side for tomorrow. I came home from work on Tuesday and looked around. “Mark, why didn’t you cut the back of the house?” I asked. “You said to cut the side,” he answered. “OK OK,” I thought and told him to cut the back for tomorrow. I came home from work on Wednesday and looked around. “Mark, why didn’t you cut behind the pine trees?” I again asked. “You only told me to cut the back,” he replied again. I came home from work on Thursday and looked around. “Mark…why didn’t you cut BESIDE the pine trees?” “You only said to cut behind them.” Finally, I came home from work on Friday, three days before the grass was due to be cut again, and all of the grass was cut. “Mark, when I tell you to cut the grass I want it done in one day…not the entire week!”

It had been raining all day and I had just come home from work. When I got inside I asked Mark who had been driving the Mountaineer, which should have sat in the garage all day. He said that no one had driven the car. “Then why are there tire tracks heading into the garage?” I asked. He said he wasn’t sure. “Was Robbie here?” He said no and that he was the only one here and he had not left the house. “So did your twin take that car for a joy ride?” And he said YES.

One day Mark and I were going to the mall in the Metro. It was very hot that day and that car is very small – it’s only a three cylinder. A car like that has to have a weight limit and me and Mark aren’t little guys. On our way, we had to turn off the air conditioner to make it up the first hill. For the second and third hills I told Mark we should rock back and forth to make sure we get over. Now can you picture two 340 pound fatboys rocking backward and forward going up a steep hill in that tiny car!

To prevent anymore week long grass cutting incidents I told Mark that he couldn’t go anywhere until all of his work was done. To enforce this I got a chair and sat out back while he cut the grass. Mike Bell showed up and we talked for a while and I explained to him that Mark couldn’t leave until he finished his work. So Mike pulled up a chair and sat down too. I told the boys that I was getting some Kool-Aid and went inside. Now I was only gone for five minutes, but when I came back out Mike was cutting the grass and Mark was sitting down in the chair. How he pulled that one off I will never know.
to top

Best Damn Kool-Aid Story Period
By Brandon Bandi

All of sophomore year I would get a ride home from football practice with one of the older guys. One day, my usual ride had left me so I had to ask Stefanow for a ride home. He agreed but told me we had to wait on Mark. Since I was in no position to argue I complied and sat in the locker room an extra forty minutes waiting for Mark to get ready to leave. Apparently, Nick and Mark were having a running conversation about the subtleties of Kool-Aid and Mark had convinced Nick to come over and try his personal brew. All I wanted to do was get home – my ride had left me, I had to sit around and wait for Mark, and now I have to go sample some freaking Kool-Aid, but once again being in no position of authority I was forced to comply. Once there, Mark hovered over his creation like a mad scientist; precisely dumping in sugar without the need or want of a measuring cup, ripping open packets upon packets of Blue Ice flavoring, and turning the facet to the prefect degree of openness. I was told it would be the best Kool-Aid I have ever had…and God damnit…it was. To this day I wish I could have a little more of Mark’s Blue Ice Kool-Aid.
to top

Hide the Snacks
By Stephanie Riggs

Mark is my cousin and when he was in junior high and high school he babysat a lot for me. I remember leaving him some money for pizza in order to feed him and the kids that night. Mind you the kids at the time were 2, 3, and 5 years old. I come home to find all 3 kids passed out on top of a snoring Mark in front of the Godzilla movie. I also found 2 large empty pizza boxes, an empty 12-pack of Pepsi, 2 empty bags of chips, and half of a gallon of ice cream gone!! That boy sure could eat! I remember telling my Aunt Sue that from now on I would have to hide the snacks from him!
to top

Divine Intervention
By Jon Berardinelli AKA Jonny Beamin AKA Beamin

September 8, 2004: One year to the date of his passing, I, Jon Berardinelli, beat Moneyshot, who of course was The Ohio State University, with Michigan for the first time ever in NCAA Football 2005. Thanks Mark.

Editor's Note: THplayEr3 (10:24:26 PM): real cute
to top

Hungry? Why Wait?
By Sam Milton AKA Rob Mills

Throughout elementary school I ran around with Mark, Lucki, and Mike McNeil. We always rode our bikes together, except for Lucki; he had a scooter until he was old enough to drive. Anyway, one day my older brother dared Mark and me to go steal something from the “old Kroger’s.” Because he was older and we looked up to him there was no way we could turn down the dare. Inside Kroger’s, I snatched a tobacco product and got out of the store as fast as possible. I ran like hell back to my house on Lynwood Ave., forgetting Mark. When I got there my brother asked me what happened to Mark. Scared he got caught, we start walking towards Kroger’s to see what the deal was. We got half way there and here comes Big Mark taking his good old time eating a Snickers that he had taken. Picture that!
to top

Finally Caught
By Lyndi Snell

One winter night, during my freshman (Mark’s junior) year of high school, Mark and I were bored at my house and decided we wanted to watch a movie. I was living with my Aunt Jill at the time and I asked her if she would drive up to Blockbuster. Unfortunately, she had papers to grade and could not give us a ride. Mark then reminded me that he had his license and he could just drive Jill’s car to get the movie. We asked her if it was alright. “Do you have your license, Mark?” she asked. “Yes,” Mark replied. I also reminded Jill that Mark definitely had a license because he had driven me places before. She then complied and gave Mark her keys. I was a little nervous with him driving, especially because it had just begun to snow. But Mark reassured me he was a good driver and that I had nothing to worry about. We made it to Blockbuster safely. We picked out a movie and went back to the car. As Mark turned on the car, I told him to be careful pulling out of the parking space because there was a lot of traffic going through and it can be a difficult place to get out of. Just then I heard a loud thump. Mark had backed into something. It was a brand new SUV of some sort, and the owner was not happy. There was a huge dent in his driver’s side door. He asked for Mark’s insurance information, but since Mark was not really a licensed driver that was kind of hard to come by. I had never seen Mark so scared. He wanted to just drive away but we were blocked into the parking space. I ended up just giving the dude my aunt’s insurance information so he would leave us alone and we could leave. Luckily there was no damage done to my car, just a couple little scratches. Mark did not want to go inside with me when I got home because I had to tell Jill that he had wrecked her car. But I made him. He just came into the house, sat down on the couch, and stared at the wall while I told Jill what had happened. She took it a lot better than we thought she would. The next week at school he was very grumpy with me because I kept laughing about it and also because I had told some people what had happened. Needless to say, he was never allowed to drive the car again.
to top

Ford Taurus Confessions
By "Slick" Nick Anthony

It was my junior year of high school and we were in basketball season. After school, I went into the locker room to get ready for practice. Since Mark is allowed anywhere in the school, he comes strolling into the locker room like it's no big deal and tells me he needs to get his shoes out of my car. I said alright and tossed him my keys. I specifically told him, “Mark, do not drive the car anywhere. I’m serious. Don’t do it.” Mark swore up and down he wouldn’t take it anywhere and went on his way. After practicing for about 30 minutes I see Mark stroll back down the hallway towards the locker room. Mark took his time, that’s all. After practice, I pack up my stuff and go to the parking lot. It’s not long before I realize my car isn’t where I left it. I knew he was going to take the car. However, out of all the empty spaces in the parking lot, I see my car parked in a handicap spot with the front wheel up on the curb. It really makes you wonder what goes through Mark’s head sometimes. So I go to Mark’s house and yell at him for taking the car, but he swears it wasn’t him. Brandon backed it up too, so I was a little worried. Later that night, $hot admits to me that it was Mark. So I yell at him the next day in school and he confesses. He then told me he needed it for an emergency -- he had to go home and get his report card before his parents got home and found it. It was one of those times when you try to act mad, but it’s too funny to be mad. He kept apologizing, but that didn’t keep him from stealing the car again.
to top

RRRiiippp
By Jon Berardinelli AKA Jonny Beamin AKA Beamin

As has been mentioned a time or two on this site, Mark always rode shotgun and never sat in the back. There is a good reason for that. Those of you who have had the pleasure of sitting in the back seat of my old car, the Sunfirah, know there isn’t much room. Hell, there wasn't much room for me when I was 12 and riding in the back seat. One night, for some reason unbeknownst to me, Mark agreed to let $hot sit shotgun. This meant Mark was to climb in the back of a 2 door subcompact car. As one can imagine, chaos was about to strike. After a good 4-6 minutes of Mark climbing in the back, I finally thought he was in, until, suddenly, I hear what proved to be one of the funniest sounds I have ever heard in my entire life. I knew instantly what had happened. Mark's new FUBU platinum jeans had split about 6 inches right down the crotch. Mark said a few choice words and me and $hot laughed our asses off for about 5 minutes straight. Once we got our composure back and Mark could finally get a word in all he said was, "Man, take me home!"
to top

Behind Closed Doors
By Jason Linton AKA Dub

One Halloween Mark asked me to come up and go trick or treatin with him. For some reason, he sent me downstairs to shoot pool while he “did his homework." He started it about 30 minutes before everyone goes out to get candy and stuff. After about an hour and a half of doing trick shots on his pool table, I go upstairs to see if he was done with his homework. I look in his hands…there is an ESPN the Magazine that he had been reading the whole time! Then we go outside and what do ya know??? Trick or treat is OVER! You never know what Mark does behind closed doors…
to top

Gone Fishin'
By Jason Linton AKA Dub

One night Mark and I decided to go fishing on the river at the Waterfront Dock. We were traveling down Main Street and there was a cop in front of us that was going real slow. Just as soon as I pass the cop car Mark’s favorite song comes on. He doesn’t think anything of the cop car and turns the music up to the maximum! The cop instantly turned his spot light on and flashing lights are going everywhere. I realized I was getting pulled over so I turned right on to the street right by the Civic Center. The road I turned on to is about 300 yards away from the fishing spot and Mark looks at me and asks, “DUDE, ARE WE PARKING HERE?!?” Mark didn’t realize we had been pulled over for disturbing the peace until the cops had surrounded us. He just didn’t want to walk that far. Later that night we were just relaxin and then all of a sudden I caught a 45 lb. catfish that we both had to bring in. I got proof. Mark was scared and wouldn’t put his hands on the lunker so it’s only a picture of me and the cat.

Editor's Note: Here is Dub's "proof." Good work, Dub, good work.
to top

Gracious Host
By Nathan DiLorenzo AKA Dilo

When Mark had the house to himself late senior year he threw a couple of nice parties. One of his parties got so packed that Mark said that his neighbors had called the cops and they were on their way. So not wanting to get in trouble, I got the hell out of there and went to my car ASAP. About 25 minutes later Slick calls my phone and says Mark wants you to come back up to get on the sticks. In my head I was thinking "...but the cops came and everything got busted". Slick then explained that Mark had just made that up so everyone would leave. I could hear Mark laughing in the background because he did that to me. Well I refused to go back and give Mark the pleasure of playing me in Playstation because I was pissed off that he tricked me like that. Gas is not cheap these days damnit!!

Editor's Note: That same party, Mark didn't want his carpets to get all dirty, so he had everyone take off their shoes as they walked in the house. He collected them in a laundry basket and put it in the kitchen. When he decided that he didn't want everyone in his house anymore he yelled out, "Alright, everyone leave! The cops are coming!" and then dumped out the basket of shoes in the middle of the floor.
to top

Offending a Priest
By Brandon Lucki AKA Moneyshot AKA $hot

Mark and I were chilling on The Bench one night and we decided to walk up to BP to get something to drink. As we were walking back, we saw two girls that we knew drive past. They pulled over into St. Michael’s parking lot and we talked to them. Next thing we know, the head priest, Fr. Jimbo, comes over in his raggedy car and tells us to get off the property or he’ll call the cops. This was around the time when everybody said the phrase “alright, buddy.” The priest yelled at us and we started to walk away when Mark yells out “Ok calm down, buddy!” The priest said something back but I can’t remember what. I didn’t say anything because I knew him and I didn’t want to be damned to Hell. Mark, however, did not know he was a priest. I eventually told him who he was. He didn’t believe me at first, but when I finally convinced him he got so scared that he just kept repeating, “Man, I offended a man of the cloth…” The rest of the night he was scared that something bad was going to happen to him.
to top

"Why Have You Forsaken Me!?!"
By Brandon Lucki AKA Moneyshot AKA $hot

Dub, Mark, and I went to Dicarlos real late one night. We got our pizza and headed towards the door. I was first, then Dub, and Mark was lagging behind because he was talking to someone that worked there. So we get to the door and as soon as I open it, here comes the same girl that (as mentioned in Reverend Mark) Mark thinks is a dime. I walk by and say hi and Dub and I looked at each other and started laughing because we knew Mark was going to see her. Mark walks by her, I never saw him more shocked in my life. He looked like a kid at Christmas, his eyes got real big, and he had his hands cupped over his mouth like he just saw a ghost. All he said was, “Oh, my goodness.” We all just started cracking up. We get to the car and Mark yells out lyrics to a System Of A Down song…something like, “Why have you forsaken me!?!” At exactly the same time he screams this out, the girl comes back outside. It was perfect timing and everything. He was so embarrassed. Later that night, despite all that, he still was giving all these little smirks because he was happy he got to see her.
to top

Trying to Hide
By Clint Falduto

As everyone knows, Mark played football. So it was my senior year, Mark's junior year, and it was during double sessions in August. We were going into the 2nd session of practice, so all the football players were down the hill socializing before warm-up laps. Mark was always the last person to come down off the hill from either being in the training room or from just taking his good ol' time getting dressed (he has been like this ever since 7th grade). Well anyway, everyone is already done with their laps and getting ready to start practice, everyone…but Mark. For some reason Mark didn’t want to run laps so he tried to skip them, I don't know why. Everyone knew exactly what Mark's plan was: to come down off the hill late so he could miss warm-up laps. We started with special teams that day so most of the team was on the sidelines relaxing for a quick minute. So I turn around to grab a drink of water and notice a football teammate trying to hide behind that little wooden booth right by the tennis courts. I would say in less than a minute most of the football team and all of the coaches saw this teammate, it was obviously Mark. I would say he was up there for a good 5 to 10 minutes, which is an eternity during doubles in August. Everyone had their own little gaze going on and was thinking to themselves, "Is Mark Peterson seriously trying to hide?" You just have to picture this 300 lb. guy trying to hide behind something that is just as big as he is. I guess Mark just thought he could get away with hiding. It didn’t work.
to top

Damn Scientists
By "Slick" Nick Anthony

One night, Moneyshot and Mark were over my house and we were messing around on the computer. Mark asks me if he can check his mail so I let him. He takes a while to figure out how to check his mail, and finally he opens his mailbox. He says, “Man, they always send me all this porn.” I thought this was pretty funny because he brought it up, so I ask, “Mark, who is ‘they’?” He replies, “Man, you know… scientists.” Apparently, Mark knew something that I didn’t, because I always thought you had to sign in to porn sites to receive those e-mails. He later tried to tell me he said “sites” but we knew he was just trying to cover up. That shit was hilarious though, me and $hot still crack up about it today.
to top

What a Jokester!
By Brady Brookes

Senior year was the first time I had ever had a class with Markie. We were in Substance Abuse together with Coach Z. Well, I soon found out that Mark didn't enjoy coming to class too often. So Mark usually ended up missing a few tests as well. We would get our graded tests back before he would even make his tests up. Mark would then ask me if he could borrow my graded test when he took his so he didn’t have to study. How could anyone say no to Mark?? I know I couldn’t!! So I gave it to him and explained that he couldn't get caught because we would both be in big trouble!! He promised he wouldn't let himself get caught so I gave him the test. I was a little worried wondering how he was going to pull this off. Coach Z was always going around Mark because he loved him so much as all of us did. He was constantly talking to Mark and checking on him to see how he was doing. At the end of the day in the back parking lot Mark came up to me with this serious look on his face. I said, “Mark…what’s wrong?” He solemnly replied, "Brady, I'm sorry -- Coach Z caught me and we have to meet with him tomorrow.” I was just about to start yelling at him when he said, "Nah, I'm just kiddin." I would have loved to seen the look on my face at that moment. What a jokester he was!!! He apologized for scaring me like that many times and I will never forget all the times we laughed about that. Even though he tried to pull a prank on me I allowed him to copy whatever else he needed making him promise me that he wouldn't scare me like that again unless something bad did come out of the situation! Only Mark could pull off the things he did in that class. I'll never forget our Substance Abuse days.
to top

Rude Awakening
By Mike Kuca

During the summer Nick A. would always stop by my dad’s apartment in the middle of the night. One night he brought Lucki and Mark up at 2 o’clock in the morning. Mark asked me if he could get something to drink I told him yeah go head inside to the kitchen. Like I said, it was really late and my dad had fallen asleep on the floor in front of the TV. Mark goes in to get the pop, but to make it back he has to step over my dad who is in this deep sleep. Just as Mark steps over him, I mean he is straddling him, my dad wakes up and sees a 300 pound black kid standing over him; my dad was so scared that he started shaking and wiggin out. Can’t blame him though, that shit would scare anybody.
to top

A Large Dark Figure
By Diane Anthony, Slick's mom

You know when you wake up in the morning and it takes you awhile to really wake up. I mean you're up and moving, but not really coherent yet and don't really pay much attention to your surroundings. Kind of like being in between sleep and awake? Well that's how I was one particular morning. I woke up and went downstairs to make coffee. Of course I went to the kitchen first and then into the living room where I almost jumped out of my skin. There was a huge, dark figure sitting straight up on my couch. It scared me because it was still a little dark and no lights were on and I screamed really loud. Then a big snort came out of this large figure on my couch, I turned the lamp on and noticed it was Mark sound asleep, sitting up, not lying down. I kept saying Mark, Mark, are you OK? I had to take a real close look to see if he was really sleeping! I have never seen anyone sleep like that. Nothing bothered him, he slept soundly through all my terror!
to top

BIG Mark
By Mitch Kosowski

It was my freshmen year, so Mark was a junior. I didn't really know him then and never got to really know him, but I had heard about him because he's a legend. We were finishing up the football season, so the pranks were escalating. Everything from icy hot in my underwear to pissing in lockers was going on in the freshmen locker side. People were starting to pick on Maurice (AKA Flea), including an unsuccessful teabag attempt and throwing him out the locker room when he was naked. He was tiny then, like 95 lbs., so I said I'd help him out, even though I wasn't much bigger. He said something like, "Even if the whole team gangs up on me?" and I said yeah, I'd help him. Later that week I was walking through the lockers after school and I hear that typical Maurice squeal and him saying stuff like, "Come on, man! Uh, get off me!" I turn the corner and I see Mark pretty much just sitting on Maurice. I start dying. I mean, you got a guy about 325 then (I'm guessing) on little ol' Flea. Maurice's eyes looked like they were going to bug out of his head. Then Maurice says, "Come on, man. You said even the whole team. This is the whole team!" I take one look at Maurice's pleading eyes and then I take another at Mark's big, toothless grin, and I start whistling and I walk away. You just don't mess with that.

Editor's Note: I'm not exactly sure why Maurice needed Mitch's help. You can decide for yourself...Mark vs. Maurice
to top

Shaq of Flag Football
By Justin Wood

When we were around third or fourth grade Mark and I used to be on the same flag football team. Of course you know Mark was same size in grade school as he was in high school and nobody ever messed with him because his hand was the size of your head at the time. He used to tower over kids so our coach decided he should play wide receiver. Not only was he the biggest receiver in the entire flag football league, he was probably the biggest receiver on the entire East Coast of the United States, and he was only twelve. So the game plan was the same for every game -- get Mark the ball. I was quarterback so I got the privilege to toss the ball up for grabs every play and watch Mark reach one of his huge hands up and just snag the ball. The kids on the other team would just be jumping and hanging from him while he ran into the end zone. After the good old flag football days I used to refer to Mark as the "Shaq of flag football."

Editor's Note: My only memory from flag football is playing that team (they were orange...probably called the Broncos), getting knocked down by Mark, and then getting up and grabbing Pat Stanton's flag. I thought I was hot shit because I lived through a battle with the biggest, baddest, and scariest kid in the league.
to top

Ouch!
By Amber Minor

One night this past summer I headed over to Nick Anthony's with Angie and had no idea I was walking into the infamous Madden Tournament. All of the guys were pumped up over the tourney but Mark had unfortunately been knocked out by the second round. So I spotted a punching bag in the back of Nick's basement and brought Mark over to it to show off some of my great new tae bo moves, however he was only amused. After a few good minutes laughter he decided to show me what he could do. Mark picked me up and apparently hadn't noticed the significant size difference between the two of us because my head went through Nick's ceiling! Fortunately, it was a ceiling that had the moving sections so it wasn't too painful but needless to say, it was always a good laugh for me and Mark.
to top

Reverend Mark
By Brandon Lucki AKA Moneyshot AKA $hot

Mark and I were over at Dani Rehm’s house one night just chilling. Usually, when we went up there Dani would ask Mark about this girl that Mark thought was a dime and he always played it off like it was nothing. We were sitting around when the phone rang, and without looking at the caller ID, Mark answered the phone. He knew it was one of Dani’s friends so he started talking like all these different characters. Like Rev. Jesse Jackson and Kermit the Frog and all this stuff. Dani and I couldn’t stop laughing. However, it all came to a climax when Mark finally asked who it was...and it turned out to be the girl he had a crush on. Mark got a blank stare on his face, calmly looked at Dani, and gave her the phone and said, “It’s for you.” It was then that he told me who it was, I was f’n shocked. Mark sat there quietly for the entire night except for a few quick smirks just because he was happy he got to talk to her.
to top

Pulled Over
By Brandon Lucki AKA Moneyshot AKA $hot

Bell, Mark, and I went to Dicarlos one night and we saw that they were having a sobriety check point on National Road down by the Dairy Queen. So we were outside eating our pizza and watching people getting stopped. Cars that tried to turn on the road right next to Dicarlos's parking lot to avoid the check ended up getting stopped by cops that were just sitting there waiting. We got done eating our pizza, got in the car, and started to pull out of Dicarlos parking lot. However, as we were pulling out one of those cops started to follow us. That pissed Bell off because he does not like being followed, especially by cops. But Mark and I saw this as a very funny opportunity to try and get him pulled over. So me and Mark start to act like we are smoking in Bell’s car and passing a joint back in forth., and well damn, wouldn’t u know it we got pulled over. Bell was a little mad, but we couldn’t contain ourselves. Mark and I couldn’t shut up; I had to bite my lip. Every time the cop went back to his car we just kept making comments and we would look back and just stare at him and smile. Bell ended up getting a warning for a burnt out tail light. IT WAS SO TOTALLY WORTH IT.
to top

Random Torturings Pt. II
By Angie Leo

Mark and I just always had good times -- from when he used to carry me flung over his shoulder through the halls of WPHS (and of course, never got in trouble because that’s just how Mark was treated!), to him and Brandon plainly beating me up EVERYDAY after school in the blue section lockers. Markie also used to attempt to rock my car back and forth, with me in it. I drove him home a lot at one point during junior year. Mark, being the little social bug that he is, always stood in the middle of the parking lot talking to everyone for way too long. I would try and wait for him in my car, but when the parking Nazis told you to go, by God you went. Mark would eventually realize I was driving away and would chase after my car. Seeing that picture is priceless; Mark running, in loafers, with an empty book bag if any at all. This is when I would stop the car to let him in. However, like said in other stories, Mark would first try to get Brandon out of the front seat and then get in. Well, if you know the parking Nazis then you know that that was a no-no. We always got caught stopping traffic; we would be forced to pull over and wait until the very end before we were allowed leave. Then, he and Brandon used to deliberately leave open all the doors in the Jeepster so I would have to get out and shut them. One time, when I got out of the car to close the doors, they jumped in and drove away. Here I am standing in the middle of the road as they drive off into the distance. I ended up sitting in Brandon’s driveway for quite awhile while their crazy neighbors gave me toys. Once again, torturing me.
to top

Random Torturings Pt. I
By Angie Leo

Nick A. used to drive up to my house with Mark and the rest of the usual crew at random hours of the night, sometimes even getting pulled over at 1 AM for not stopping at stop signs during the process, but that’s beside the point. I specifically remember one night when Matt McGuane forced me to watch The Big Lebowski. And when I say forced, I literally mean forced me to watch it to the point where every time I attempted to fall asleep they threw objects at me. While watching the movie, the guys got hungry and made me go upstairs to bring them food. Let’s just say they took advantage of me being away, because when I came back downstairs they had rearranged, taken out, and misplaced ALL the boards in the ceiling. I guess they either thought I wouldn’t notice or that it might be humorous to see me try to fix it since I can’t reach the ceiling. They also all denied doing it at first and then blamed Mark. If you can picture Mark in this kind of situation…it’s classic. First, he immediately would deny it and try to blame everyone else in the room. Then, eventually, he would just sit there and stare at the TV and not say a word because he would get mad that everyone blamed him. That’s Mark for ya. That was also the night that Darrick Gerrero and Markie fed my dog an entire bag of dog treats. I think they liked torturing me.
to top

"Hulluh"
By "Slick" Nick Anthony

For those of you who don’t know, calling the Peterson household is like watching Jason trying to put the triangle block in the hole where the cylinder goes…it’s an adventure. You need a trained ear for each person’s trademark answer when they pick up the phone. If (and that’s a big if) someone answers the phone, you have to very listen carefully. If you hear a slight inhale followed by a “hullah” then you’ve reached Mark. If you hear “hullo,” often confused with “hullah,” then you’ve reached Robbie. But if you hear in a hardcore bass Barry White voice “mmm Helloo” then you’ve reached “Big Poppa” Peterson. I’ve called the house plenty of times before and I’m able to tell the three apart. So I call one day to do something with Mark and the phone rings like 17 times before I hear “::slight inhale:: Hullah,” so I knew I was talking to Mark. I decide to play a little trick on him, so I say, “Hi, I’m calling from the Student Management office at Wheeling Park High School. May I please speak with Mr. Robert Peterson?” I knew Mark was thinking because he wasn’t saying anything for a good 5 seconds. He then replied, “Uh, speaking,” with a bad impression of his dad. Then I hear his dad in the background, “Mark, who you talking to?” I cut the joke off because I was snickering too loudly into the phone. Mark always thought he was sneaky like that.
to top

Mark, Meet My Dad
By Angie Leo

The first time Mark came to my house was great. I think maybe it was after school one day because I would ride Mark and Brandon home from school when their usual ride, Nick A., had a basketball game. Anywho, they convinced me they didn’t want to go home because they had no food and they wanted to have after school snack time at my house. I was going up the stairs to the kitchen when I see my dad sitting at the table directly in front of the basement door. And for those of you who don’t know my dad, just picture a short, fat, bald, Italian that kinda resembles Tony Soprano, and unfortunately tries to act like him too. So when he heard very slow and very loud foot steps behind me, he immediately wondered who came over after school. He normally tries to harass boys that have associations with his daughters and that was surely on his mind. That is, until he saw big Markie P. His eyes opened wide and his jaw dropped, and needless to say my dad didn’t say one harsh word. He stood up and shook his hand and sure enough felt like a midget. From that moment on, my dad referred to Mark as “Tiny.”
to top

Miss Betty?
By Angie Leo AKA Miss Betty

First, the nickname, “Miss Betty”, I can’t exactly explain why I got that nickname but one day Mark randomly started calling me it. Every single day he only referred to me as “Miss Betty” and everyday I asked him why and how I have this nickname. His only response was that he had heard it in a song and it had no meaning. Then a few days later, the reason was because I looked like “a Betty”. Weeks passed and I just got used to the fact that I had a new name to Markie P. Eventually I realized where “Miss Betty” came from. It's a lyric in a song in which I forget the title. It means hoe. Mark finally fessed up and told me that he knew the whole time that “Miss Betty” meant hoe yet for some reason he loved calling me that and continued to even after I knew its true meaning. I think Nick A. started calling me it too. I really do appreciate it guys, thanks, a lot.
to top

The Graduate
By Kate Stefanow

It was the very end of Mark's senior year and the only seniors left were the ones taking exams. Since it was the end of the year and I attend Wheeling Park High School, we were doing nothing in class. So I took the pass and decided to go on a little stroll in hopes to find a new hallway or where ever the wind may have taken me. As I’m wandering along I heard a voice from the far end of the building, "LITTLE STICK!," it was Mark. "I GOT A D+ ON MY CHEM EXAM!!" My initial reaction was, “um, cool?” Mark, I mean, it was valid -- not many people I know are that pumped about receiving a D on a final exam. But as Mark jogged down WPHS's exceptionally long hallway he continued to exclaim, "I PASSED!! I GET TO GRADUATE!!" When Mark got to the point where I was standing, between the Media Center and a court of classrooms, I noticed the most gigantic snaggle-toothed smile I have ever seen. As I started to giggle and share in his excitement, Mark gave out a loud "WAHOO!" and picked me up before I even got a "congrats" in. There I was, in the middle of an empty hallway, with Big Markie Peterson giving me the best bear hug in history. Mark repeated again and again "I get to graduate…I got a D!" while flinging me into the air and crushing my innards…it was amazing.
to top

Why I’m a Psycho Madden Fanatic
By Nathan DiLorenzo AKA Dilo

It goes a little something like this...I always enjoyed having my friends come up to my house to hang out when there was, very occasionally, nothing to do in Wheeling. Well, the usual came over one night awhile back: Slick, Stick, $hot, Mark, and a couple others. After an intense game of basement basketball in which everyone most likely got dominated by Mark's inside presence (blocking him was like blocking Shaq), everyone left except for Mark and $hot. Then it was time to "get on the sticks". Madden was, of course, in the system. I let Mark and $hot play first and I had winner. It was a close game and I noticed Mark was extremely into it. I mean, I really didn’t see the intensity leave his facial expression for the entire 2nd half. $hot was winning and he knows how Mark hates to lose in Madden so he began to talk shit...and talk shit...and talk even more shit. Mark was getting angrier and more frustrated by the minute. It was eventually over and $hot won, but it was close, and Mark just sat in the chair with the stick hanging from his fingers just staring at the TV. I was literally amazed by how upset he was. I mean if Mark was a violent person, he would of grabbed $hot's head and tore it off his body instantly. Mark argued his point for hours how $hot just cheats and he's not even good. I eventually calmed him down by hooking it up with a Sam's Club bag of Cheddar Chex Mix. From that point on I realized Playstation is no joke. Honestly, Mark taught me you take it seriously like you are playing a real sport. I really used to not care if I lost, but now it ruins my day. I loved the intensity Mark displayed when on the sticks; I always loved battling him because he was so into it and wanted to win more than anything. I will carry that same intensity with me the rest of my life when playing Playstation, but unlike Mark, I now tend to break things when I lose...very large things.
to top

Mr. Popular
By Brandon Lucki AKA Moneyshot AKA $hot

Mark and I decided to go to the Italian Festival one time when we were like sophomores. We made a bet with each other prior to going. The bet was that the person that knew the most people would win $5. And when I say “knew” somebody I mean like you talk to them or whatever. And if we knew the same person then that person wouldn’t count. Now, this is when I first started hanging out with Mark so I didn’t realize how incredibly stupid of a bet this really was. It took us like two freaking hours to get from one end to the other and after we tallied our scores I had a grand total of 4. Mark had 57. End of story.
to top

"What Was That?"
By Brandon Lucki AKA Moneyshot AKA $hot

Mark and I were driving to the mall one time and it was during rush hour. We’re heading west on I-70 and we’re right before the tunnel. I’m driving the Tracer…I’d have better breaks if I put a hole in the floor and tried to use my feet to stop like in the Flintstones. So we’re driving and the car in front of me slams on his brakes, so I slam on mine. I can hear the tires squeal and everything. I don’t hit the car in front of me so I thought we were in the clear, my thought was then crushed when the stupid GIRL driver behind me hit me. Now, when you get rear-ended by another car you know what it feels like. And if not, you can probably take a guess, it isn’t like a little nudge. This girl slams into the back of my car; I cringed up and yelled out a few words because I knew what happened. Mark stares at me and with a blank stare asks, “What was that?” No one got hurt, Mark knew the cop, and we went on our way to the mall.
to top

Say Your Prayers
By "Slick" Nick Anthony

One evening during the summer a couple years ago, we’ll say between freshman and sophomore year, $hot, Mark, Beamin, and myself went hiking behind Blockbuster at like 1 AM. We heard there was a party going on and we didn’t want to walk on National Road and get picked up for curfew. So this hike took probably 30 minutes to get to our destination on the hill behind Blockbuster. Mark is a good 100 yards behind, the grass was up to our hips, and we were a couple feet away from a ledge where we could have easily fallen off and died. Well we finally get to the location of the party and find that there is no party. So we go to head back, but we don’t want to go the way we came, so we just decided to walk on National Road. As we’re climbing down the hill to Blockbuster, me and Moneyshot see a praying mantis sittin there on the pavement. We get all close to it to admire its glory, and I see a blur out of the corner of my eye. Mark yells “WHAT THE HELL IS THAT,” takes an Olympic leap off one leg and smashes the praying mantis to mush. He jumped particularly high in the air in hopes to murder this thing as violently as possible. When he came down on it, shit squirted out underneath his new Jordans. “Did you guys see the size of that thing?” he asks. Now Moneyshot and I are dying and Beamin is just getting down the hill. We headed back to my house where Mark cleaned off his shoes. Now I’m not positive, but I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to kill a praying mantis. Mark didn’t know it was a praying mantis, I don’t think he’s ever seen one before as a matter of fact. The only thing I do know is that Mark was terrified of bugs. He has thousands of millipedes around his garage and is scared to death of them. Mark doesn’t like bugs in general, but he had a distinct disliking for that praying mantis.
to top

Mark's Shortcut
By Jon Berardinelli AKA Jonny Beamin AKA Beamin

Growing up, every child is told certain things repeatedly that he should never do. Some stick with you, some don't. A few common examples might be to never drink and drive or do cocaine. Well one thing Big Jon taught me was to stay away from Grand View Manor. Apparently he had known an innocent person who got dealt with up there for no reason. Now since the act of being shot didn't really appeal to me at the time, this is one of those things that stuck with me. Now I told you that story to tell you this story. One day a few minutes ago, me, $hot, Dub, and Mark were up at some girl’s house, whose name I am blanking on, near Oglebay. After about 15 minutes of boredom and empty conversation, it was decided that me and Mark should go to Warwood to get some...Burger King. As we all know, Mark didn’t have a license at the time, but he insisted on driving and I reluctantly agreed, since it was Dub's car and I hadn't yet had the immense pleasure of forming a strong friendship with Dub, along with the fact that Mark was rather intimidating at times. So off we go, and as you can imagine Mark immediately changed the CD and put in some hard shit. So we're flyin’ down Edgington Lane hill, and at this point I’m not feeling safe at all. Instead of getting on the interstate and going through the tunnel, Mark bypasses the entrance ramp so I figure he's just going to go down that one steep ass hill near North Park. So we come to the light right there by North Park and instead of going straight, Mark opts to take a left, and claimed that he knew a 'shortcut', even though Warwood was the opposite direction. From this point on, I was as nervous as a hooker in church. So here I am, traveling through Grand View Manor at 11 pm on a weekend. Ahead in the distance I notice there is a gathering of about 8-10 grown ass men, one of which had a dog the likes of which would devour a small human being in a matter of 12 seconds. Suddenly, I feel the car start to slow down. I asked Mark what he was doing and he said hold on a minute. The car comes to a stop; I stare straight ahead, and hear the window going down. I found myself frozen, unable to move, till I hear Mark engaging in friendly conversation with two of the grown ass men. At this point, I notice a cop car coming our way, and I got that funny feeling one gets in his legs when he thinks he's about to get pulled over. Once again, I was frozen. Luckily, Mark decided we had better get movin and we rolled right by the 5-0 without getting pulled over. We arrived at our destination and Mark's shortcut added on a solid 20 minutes to our trip, but I had nothing to complain about...I was still alive. I had experienced the most interesting trip to Warwood ever, and I have a feeling I'll maintain that record throughout my life. Once we had made our pick-up, I was feeling relieved, and after a few minutes I convinced Mark to go back through the tunnel this time. Mark had gained my trust as a worthy driver. Then, no more than 5 minutes later, we about smash right into that phone pole that’s at the bottom of Edgington Lane hill that sticks out kinda far on the way up that has almost taken my mirror off on more than seven occasions. Way to go Mark.
to top

You're Caught!
By Mike Bell AKA Mike Bell

So as usual I was passed out at Mark’s house. Mark’s dad woke him up to cut the grass because Mark forgot to do it the day before. I guess I must have left my car keys out in the open because when I woke up my car was in a different spot and my windows were down with music blaring. I saw Mark and asked him why all my windows were down. He replied that he wanted to listen to music and listen to his new “hot” mix he just made. I was like whatever because it’s not a big deal. So I go into the back of my car to get some of my clothes. I was looking for my red Lakai t-shirt and my Hauf Brau Haus shirt I had just gotten, but they weren't there anymore. I asked Mark where they were and he said he didn’t know. I was kind of weirded out because I knew they were in there. Later on that day someone told me, I think it was Lucki, but I am not sure, that they saw Angie Leo wearing the same t-shirt that I had and I was like oh, that’s odd. Anyway, I asked Mark again if he knew where my t-shirts were and he had that guilty look and the stuttering lies. He finally gave up that Angie and Amber were up at the house and they took them from my trunk while they were there. So I was like well where are they I want them back. So we went to some girl’s house and they were putting signs up or something and I chased down the car they were in and told them I wanted my t-shirts back. Anyway, later on I was looking around my car and noticed my CD’s were all messed up and that my seat was leaned way far back. I looked at Mark and asked him if he had taken the car and he was like no. I looked at him and he had the same guilty look and everything and finally admitted to taking the car out all morning and cruising around. Mark pulled the old "I have a license but I just didnt go get it yet" story. We all know Mark didn’t have his license.
to top

"It was Robbie's Ex"
By Mike Bell AKA Mike Bell

So Mark and I had a game where we would slap each other on the forearm and run. I got Mark real bad the one day when he was in the car with Jason in front of Salsa Cafe. Later that night he called me and told me to come up because Slick was there hanging out and a few others including $hot were coming up later. I go up there and we hung out for a bit and then I told them I was going to go because Leigh Anne had to get up for work and I had an early day tomorrow. So we all said bye and shit and I am walking out of Mark’s back door when he slaps me on the arm real bad and runs back in his house. Of course I chased him because I wasn’t about let him get away with it. Mark gets in his house and starts to slam the door shut when I caught up to him. I put my hand out to stop the door but instead my hand went through one of the windows and cut my hand and wrist up. I was bleeding pretty bad and Slick thought I was going to bleed to death and he and Mark wanted me to go to the emergency room, but we didn’t move because we were still all stunned at the incident. So I got the blood flowing under control when Lucki walks up and looks at me like I am crazy. I then had to explain what happened and went to my car. So I call Mark up the next day and tell him I am fine and everything. So I asked him what he told his dad because I didn’t want Mr. Peterson whoopin’ my ass over the window. He was like it’s cool don’t worry about it. Again, I was like well what did you say? His reply killed me. When his dad asked about it Mark told him that one of Robbie’s ex-girlfriends came by and we wouldn’t answer the door and she broke the window. I finally told Mr. Peterson the truth and he just laughed about because he knew Mark would try and make something up. I still have the scar on my wrist where I got cut the worst and laugh every time I look at it.
to top

Until it Sleeps
By Nick Stefanow AKA Stick

Our last regular season football game senior year was in Hedgesville, WV. Hedgesville is this backward-ass hick town in the Eastern Panhandle of WV. Because it took so long to get there (5+ hours on a bus) we left Friday after school, planned on staying the night in a shitty hotel, and playing the next morning. I was to room with Mark. We each had our own bed, because, luckily for us (and them), our other two roommates, Dilo, then known as “the Golden Toe”, and Kyle Ackerman, both had to play in the state soccer tournament and couldn’t make the trip. I know I have spent the night places with Mark before, but I must have never stayed in the same room with him because this ended up being a night I will never forget. We got to the hotel and unpacked our stuff…well, I did…Mark didn’t bring anything. We were both feeling kind of sick so we went to bed pretty early. I changed my clothes and got in my sheets. Mark, still wearing the blue nylon travel suit we had worn all day at school and on the bus, lied down on his bed…literally. He didn’t get under any covers; he just laid there…on top of his bed. I’m not even sure if he used a pillow. “Whatever,” I thought as I attempted to fall asleep. Within five minutes of turning off the lights, Mark starts the extremely loud open-mouth snoring. After a few minutes of this I snapped and yelled, “Mark! Shut up!” “Sorry, man, I can’t help it,” he grumbled back. He wasn’t even sleeping! He then got up, walked over to the window, and started hacking and snorting to try to clear his nose and throat. He walked over to the window and tried to clear his throat or whatever he was doing at least four times during the night. I eventually fell asleep only to be woken up by probably the loudest progressive snore of all time…ever. It started relatively quiet, tolerable, then it slowly but steadily got longer and louder. At about the level of “across-crowded-room shout”, I threw my pillow right at his face. He didn’t even notice. Actually, I’m surprised that I thought that would stop him. The next morning Mark woke up already dressed with his bed already made.
to top

Too Many Shoes
By Mike Bell AKA Mike Bell

So we planned our senior trip to Myrtle Beach, which Nick Anthony got us the worst hotel with a crazy transvestite named Ms. Henry running around. Anyway, everyone else had already left, but I was still in town because I had to go to court for speeding...because I wasn’t speeding. So I picked Mark up and he came and hung out at my house with me before court and then we headed to Wheeling to pick up CT. Mark says he needs to run past his house and get a few more things and a new bag for his clothes. So I was like ok, but we have to hurry. If you know Mark, 15 minutes is an hour and half. We all waited for him so you all know what I am talking about. Mark runs into his house changes and grabs his bag and 3 boxes of shoes. I was like cool lets get rolling. Mark says wait I have a few more things and I was like ok hurry. Mark comes out of the garage with 3 more boxes of shoes. I dropped my jaw and said no way; we barely had room to begin with and he wanted to bring more shoes so that all his outfits matched. I was like no way dude there’s no room. Mark says just take some of your stuff out and leave it here. I looked at Mark like he was crazy and told him I am not taking my “senior week necessities” out of the car. Dilo can feel me on that one. We sat and argued for about 30 minutes when we came to the agreement he could bring 2 more pairs if he sits with them at his feet in the car. So we get in the car and Mark has a bag with him along with the 2 shoe boxes. I asked him what was in the bag and he said nothing and then I opened the bag and he had more of his shoes in there. Mark ended up selling a pair to CT. That was a classic Mark move -- trying his best to get the outfit to match and sliding one past you.
to top

Mark, the Matchmaker
By Mike Bell AKA Mike Bell AKA Gomba

So, Mark always said he would come to one of my track meets, which he never did, but it’s Mark so what do you expect. Anyway, Mark was in a dual meet and wanted me to come up and watch him throw, which I did. I got there and I sat next to Mr. Peterson and we watched Mark throw. Mr. Peterson yelled at Mark for not throwing right and having bad form. Mr. Peterson looked over at Brian Valentine and I and said, “Watch this, he won’t throw right again.” Mark threw wrong again. After his dad left Brian and I waited for Mark to get all of his stuff and watched the rest of the track meet. Mark knew I was looking for a girlfriend and he said he had the perfect girl for me. I had one of those feelings because it was Mark. We watched some more of the meet and it started to rain. We decide to leave and Mark went to grab his shoes. We get in the car and get on the road after getting stuck in the mud. We go to Mark’s house and he looks at me and says, “Dude, I forgot one of my shoes up there.” I look at Mark and shake my head because I knew this was something he would do and then ask me to help him, which I always did. So we drive back up there and get out of the car and Mark asked me to walk over with him. I was like…why? And he said he didn’t want to go over by himself and wanted me to just go with him. I walk over with him, getting soaked, Mark sits down and starts talking to people as always and delays our leaving. I am standing there and wondering why he’s taking so long and all of a sudden he’s talking to a girl with an umbrella and I am thinking Mark never stops trying to mack on a girl. I turn around and watch some of the meet and turn to look at Mark and see what he’s doing now and there’s this girl in front of me and I am taken back real quick cause it’s the girl I told Mark was very good looking. So, she says hi to me and I said hi back and she told me she liked the necklace I was wearing and I stuttered saying thank you and walked away because I was really embarrassed. I grabbed Mark and took off. He looked at me like “what are you doing” and he said that was the girl. That is when Mark introduced me to Leigh Anne. Who thought Mark could get me a girl when it seemed hopeless because I am the Gomba. He never let me live down the day I stuttered. Mark worked in mysterious ways and was quick to think of smooth things to do and make an idiot of me.
to top

King Kong vs. Little Nicky
By Nick Stefanow AKA Stick

One day the summer before either junior or senior year, I picked up Mark to go workout at the high school for football. I, most likely, had to wait 20 minutes for him even to come out of the house. Mark was never accused of being punctual. Slick used to call him at least 15 minutes before we left to pick him up and tell him we were already outside waiting and he still wouldn’t be ready when we really did get there. Anyway, we end up being the last two people in the weight room when Coach Nardone comes in with his then three-year-old son, Nicky. Nicky proceeds to run around the weight room and play with all the equipment when he jets around the corner of a machine and sees Mark. Nicky stopped dead in his tracks, started balling, turned, and ran to his dad. Coach picked him up and asked what was wrong. Nicky pointed directly at Mark and in between sniffles he said, “King Kong.” Nardone and I lost it; I couldn’t breathe and he was in tears. Mark was laughing but was pissed at the same time. It was great. For some reason, Mark never liked when I told that story.
to top

Midnight Riders
By Brandon Lucki AKA Moneyshot AKA $hot

Mark and I went to go visit these girls real late one night. It might have been like 2:00 in the morning and we decided to take his dad’s car. At this point in our lives neither of us had our licenses, but that really didn’t stop us because, well, we got bored. Mark’s dad has to sleep with some sort of oxygen mask on so when he goes to sleep he is OUT. So we got the garage door raised...pretty good so far. We both push it out of the garage and into his little parking space area. At this point it calls for someone to be inside the car steering so they can cut the wheel when we backed out because his driveway is kind of tricky. However, Mark didn’t let me turn the car on, so instead I got in the car, put it in neutral, and then Mark pushed it and I cut the wheel. I was able to cut the wheel alright, but for some odd reason the brake didn’t work. Now...I’m not sure if it’s that the brake didn’t work, or I didn’t press down hard enough, or maybe that I accidentally hit the accelerator instead. Either way I end up backing up into their neighbor’s wall. The whole time I could hear Mark screaming at me BRAKES! BRAKES! USE THE BRAKES! Whatever happened, all I know is the damn thing didn’t work and I nailed his neighbor’s wall. I was personally shocked, silence came over both of us and we just stared at each other. I didn’t know what to do, so Mark runs over, yells at me for a little bit, gives me a little smack, and tells me to just turn on the car and take it on down the hill. I turn it on and start to creep down his hill but I have no idea where Mark is. It’s very dark out and I can’t see a thing and then all of a sudden here comes Mark like a bolt of lightning sprinting by me; his big feet slapping the sidewalk. It was at this point that I first witnessed Mark’s uncanny speed for a big man. He somehow beats me down to the end of the street -- me, in a car, and Mark, running. Needless to say, I get down there and Mark comes over to me, yells at me, gives me another little smack, and then pushes me into the other seat. He drove the rest of the way.
to top

Techno Rules
By Nick Stefanow AKA Stick

As you probably know, the day of Mark's funeral was an extremely hard time for everyone. It was a shitty end to a shitty week. The service had ended and Nick, Brandon, Jason, Bell, and I all got in Nick's car to follow the procession up to the grave site. We were all sitting there, keeping to ourselves, waiting for the procession to begin when Nick started his engine. As he turned the key, out from the speakers blasted the loudest, happiest, most inappropriate techno music ever. IT WAS AWESOME. We all busted out in laughter at the irony of the situation. I don't even want to know what the people who saw/heard us were thinking. By Nick being a dumbass and leaving his CD, which was entitled "Slick and Chauncy Gettin' Nasty with t.A.t.U.", in his car from the night before it allowed me, for at least a few minutes, to quit being so down and remember some of the good things in life. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is...thanks Nick, thanks for being a dumbass.

Editor's Note: To hear how ridiculous the song was download "My Heart Beats Like a Drum" by ATC
to top

The Dollar
By Leigh Anne Jackson

So, it’s the end of the day during the last few weeks of school and Mark and I aren’t in class. We were seniors and no one really ever yelled at Mark and I was with him so we were OK. Anyway, we were discussing going to one of Mike’s track meets in Shadyside later in the week. Neither of us were capable of remembering each other’s numbers so we decided to write his down. Only problem is we were seniors and seniors didn’t carry paper. So Mark pulls a dollar out of his pocket and scribbles his number down after which we eventually went to class. A few days passed and I checked in with him regarding our trip but on the day of the meet Mark was no where to be found. I called him several times but somehow despite all of the reminding he forgot. So I confronted him in school the next day and he apologized over and over with his head to the ground. I tried to give him back his dollar but he told me to keep it until just he and I got a chance to hang out. I saw him quite a few times after that, but it was never just the two of us...I still have his dollar.
to top

The Great Water Bottle Incident
By Nick Stefanow AKA Stick

If you have ever been to Wheeling Park High School one of the first things you notice are the incredibly small hallways. A very conducive environment for a great yet simple prank: take an Aquafina bottle - which you could purchase warm for a $1 or cold for a $1.25, poke a hole in the top with a safety pin or some serious pen work, and then as you walk down the hall give the bottle a little squeeze and a tight stream of water would burst out leaving the victim wet but none the wiser. Well one day second semester of senior year Mark had acquired one of these bottles (I say acquired because we know God damn well he wasn't going to make one himself let alone have another dollar after he brought just enough change to buy four bags of Party Mix for lunch). Sixth period had just ended and Mark and I were standing in the hall before the stairs in the blue section, when Mark decides to begin squirting people as they walk to their next class. I wasn't really paying attention to him when I heard, "Watch this.." as Ms. Oberman passes by. For those of you that don't know, Ms. Oberman is a pretty strict lady that basically don't take no shit. Mark squirts her. In most cases he probably would have gotten away scot-free, but Mark had forgotten one key ingredient to this classic prank -- you need to walk away. So, of course finding no humor in the situation, Oberman stops dead in her tracks and angrily glares at Mark, who was still holding the bottle in the shooting position but was nonchalantly gazing at the ceiling. "Did you squirt me?" she hissed. Here is where classic Mark wit and cunning takes over able to get him out of virtually any situation..."No." At this point I realize the "shit had hit the fan" so I turn around, hold back my laughter, and start towards my next class. I head down the stairs, assuming I'll hear the finale to this incident later in the day, when I hear the door behind me slam open. Mark flys through the door, takes the corner kinda like a cartoon character hopping on one foot to change directions, and screams "GOOOO!". Now, obviously, Mark doesn't like to move very fast, he's a big guy, it's rough on him...understandable. But, there have been a few times when he's been scared or we've had to run from getting in trouble or he was pissed at and chasing Lucki when I have seen the kid absolutely FLY. This was one of those times. He made it down those stairs before I could figure out what was going on and had almost made it out of the stairwell when Principal Wiggins comes out of the door that Mark had basically busted through and yells for him to stop. He stopped dead in his tracks; he knew her voice and knew he was in trouble now. "Is this your water bottle?" she yelled from the top of the staircase. "Yeahhh..." he responded with the smallest, most pathetic, I'm-sorry-have-mercy-on-me voice ever and turned around and slowly waddled back up the stairs with his head down. Wiggins was still bitching at him when he got to me on the stairs and gave me the biggest, goofiest, and toothless smile I had ever seen. I think he received ISS for a period the next day, but I always wondered what the hell he was thinking...where was he running to? the Mexican border??? We went to a school with a population of only 1600 - everyone knew each other, especially Mark. Was he planning on assimilating into the masses and blending in with the rest of the student body? Maybe this is what he actually thought was going through the principals'/teachers' involved minds, "Dammit, I have no idea where that huge, black guy with the FUBU Platinum jean outfit went. Well, it's OK because I doubt he'll be coming around these parts anymore. It was probably a hit and run." I actually wish he would have gotten out of that staircase; I would have loved to learn where he went to hide and see a principal pull him out class, ask him why he ran, and hear Mark deny it.
to top

Disturbing the Beast
By Nick Stefanow AKA Stick

On the last day of summer before senior year Slick and I decided to spend the day at Wheeling Park pool. It was extremely hot that day so we knew it would be pretty crowded. We each paid our $4 and in we headed. Exiting the locker room we saw Mark and $hot sitting in the balcony, pervin' it up, and staring a hole into the rear portion of the hot life guard with curly blonde hair. We got their attention and convinced them to join us in being perverts in the pool area instead of above. Only one problem, they had maybe $3.15 between them, but that didn't stop them for they were rolling with Mark Peterson. Somehow, everyone in the city knew Mark. It almost seemed as if it was something taught in middle school. Who was the first president of the United States? Who wrote the Declaration of Independence? Which one of these men is Mark Peterson? Sitting on The Bench he could get more honks than Madonna hitch-hiking nude. So anyway, Mark gives the girl working the desk a wave and he and Lucki stroll in like they own the place. The girls started to leave so we decided go to Wendy's and get some grub. We all load in my car when I realize that neither Mark or Brandon have dry clothes or a towel. To make it worse Mark never took off his shirt to swim, so I have a 325 pound man squeezing pool water into my front seat...great. We get to Wendy's and Mark gets a 5-piece nug, 15 packs of ketchup, and a red Hi-C like a five-year-old. On slow days like this we tend to sit at fast food restaurants for well over an hour just bullshitting and trying to decide what to do next with our time. Doing just this, one of us brings up the fact that we haven't yet been to the abandoned insane asylum in Valley Grove. It's about a 15 minute drive on one of the dullest roads in the country before we finally make it. The actual insane asylum was fenced off and guarded by some guy in a yellow Geo Metro, so instead, we go to the run-down shed a little ways before it. This place was extremely anti-climactic and boring, but I still wasn't getting out of the car. Slick and $hot walked through the 50 feet of woods to the building, while Mark and I decide to be wussies despite being the two biggest kids there and stay in the car. Mark was spooked enough just from being there that he suggested leaving them to mercy of the yellow Geo Metro man. They eventually come back, report what they saw, and we leave. (Inside the building is just graffiti from kids who had spent the night out there.) By this time it had been a pretty long day, it was at least 6 hours since our last naps, and everyone was getting pretty drowsy. Back on National Road we notice Mark is out cold (when I say notice I mean we heard him snoring). We decided to play a little joke on him: on the count of 3 we were all going to scream and I was going to hit the brakes. If you look at the pictures on Slick's memorial page you will notice Mark never really opened his eyes very much. Sometimes it was hard to tell when he was sleeping...you would have to listen. But, when we did this his eyes got about as big as golf balls and he practically jumped through the ceiling. He was so pissed he couldn't even yell. We were dying. It was really one of the funniest things I had ever seen. A few minutes later we were still recalling the incident and going over all the subtleties when a low buzz cut through our chatter. Mark had fallen back asleep.
to top

Driving Mr. Peterson
By Nick Stefanow AKA Stick

One weekend during senior year Slick, Mark, and I went to a bonfire party Dani Rehm was holding on her neighbor's property. At the party, Nick received a call from his girlfriend that resulted in a 15 minute phone conversation and us eventually leaving to kick some kid's ass, whom we will call Suzie, because apparently that's how we roll. Nick drove, I sat gun, and Mark sat behind me. The reason I mention this is if you had ever been in a car with Mark you should know that he ALWAYS sat gun. It didn't matter whose car, or who had called "gun", or even who was already occupying gun -- Mark sat gun. It was a known fact. He was just too big to sit in the back; it was hard for him to maneuver in and out and whatnot. We all complied, we all understood, no big deal. As we left the party I had forgotten this rule and reached for the passenger side door handle when I realized my folly and attempted to switch positions with Mark. Apparently, he was in a good mood or something that night and said it was OK for me to sit in the front. Understanding this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity I jumped on the chance. We arrived at our destination and piled out of the car. Nick bolted out and hopped up the stairs to the house. I got out, yelled at him to wait up, and shut my door when I heard Mark bellow out. I looked down and saw that I had slammed my door shut on the top halves of his fingers of his right hand. I literally could not see the tops of his fingers -- they were missing. I guess he was having trouble getting out of the car so with both doors open he grabbed the middle section that separates the front from the back doors to pull himself up. After I saw what I did, I looked over to him...he was staring directly at me and said in the calmest voice ever, "Nick, open the door." I dove at the handle but was prevented from opening it because Slick had already locked it. We screamed for him and finally got the door open. Mark's fingers were so thick that they only had deep dents in the tops of them. The door had be completely shut and locked; I really think anyone else's fingers would have been cut off. He simply got out of the car, shook it out, and walked it off. The following Monday, Mark showed me his hand, his fingers were about twice the size of his other hand's and he could barely use it. That was the last time I saw Mark in the back seat of a car.
to top

Why Everyone Loves the Big Man: a List of all Things Mark
By Nick Stefanow AKA Stick

Mark ... was always late ... 's feet looked like they were about to explode through his shoes ... 's hair was 98% black, 1% white, and 1% red ... was missing some teeth because when he was about 10 he stole some kid's bike, wrecked it, and hit his face on the curb ... ran (maybe) a total of two plays in Madden ... has, at one point, illegally driven your car ... bought Hurricanes ... loved "Ortega night" ... didn't lie, he just didn't know ... was bigger than you ... wore Fat Albert t-shirts ... could shoot the 3 ... could sleep sitting up ... wore gym shorts under his jeans ... sat shotgun ... took longer than a girl to get ready ... would buy a drink and a bag of chips with your change ... could disappear and then magically reappear ... knew everyone … was funny to see getting yelled at ... would not go home for days at a time ... did an impersonation of either Chewbacca, Kermit D. Frog, Coach Nardone, or Dave Chappelle saying "Hey baby!" at least once every day ... ate cold Spagetti-O's straight from the can ... owes me $11.50 … was the original "Bone Crusher" ... was #79 but you could never tell ... wore tennis shoes to football practice ... could run like the wind (when provoked) ... loved Dragon Ball Z ... enjoyed smacking around Lucki ... made anything look good ... Peterson Loves Sex ... 's bookbag didn't quite fit right on his back ... had trouble tying his shoes ... made the bench "The Bench" ... would ball-tag the shit outta you and then run away laughing ... was scared of bugs … enjoyed the tub ... "Arrailous" Peterson ... thought he was going to be drafted and would have to fight in Iraq ... has your CD.
to top