The over-represented minority

How do I position myself? As a woman, I'm considered minority in my field. As an Asian, I'm considered the "over-represented minority".

Just being me seems to be not enough. I have to be someone, or at least, I have to be perceived as someone. I start to wonder why Chinese people in the mid 1900s are classified by classes, and why, today, American people classify themselves based on race and gender.

Don't get me wrong. Yes, I am confident, I am competitive, and I am enjoying my graduate life in every way I can. I might not have seen it all, but I have managed to find my own way, to deal with up and downs, and to make decisions that direct my life towards what I want. At this point of my life, I know that I can and I know that I will.

Yet still, it seems unclear to me where I fit in. Most of those who are or who were like me made smart choices, such us entering and concentrating on their family. If they choose to stay in US, their children will be Chinese-American, and they will become the Chinese parents of American children. Good? Bad? Happy? Unhappy? I still don't see where I fit in.

restless....

Restless - that's the word that best describes me, at this moment, at this stage of my journey. Why can't I just slow down, just be peaceful, even after all these years?
I do not consider myself a perfectionist, but I have always tried to perfect it all. I do not consider myself an unreasonable person, but I have always let my passion and free will dominate. I do, however, consider myself determined, but I found it so difficult to limit my ambitious ideas and stay focused. I start to wonder why on earth do people want to make a difference, and what makes a happy life. Shall I say I am immature or shall I say I am still young? Still... restless.